Past hands hold desperate hearts
by TattooShadow
Summary: Her Potions Master confused her. He acted as though he hated her for things she had never done. Now, she was accidentally sent to the Marauders time. Will she return to her own time or stay for the sake of love?
1. Prologue

**Past Hands Hold Desperate Hearts**

**Prologue**

She was warned that time was a tricky thing to mess with. She'd been very careful when she used it for her extreme amount of classes in third year, but after the third year, she no longer bothered with it. It had proven to be too much work. Out of habit, however, she still wore it just in case she might need it. It was a small comfort to know that she could go back in time if she really had to.

Hermione Granger was sitting outside on the grounds of Hogwarts when a shadow fell over her. She looked up to find Ronald Weasley looking down at her. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw him. Hermione had developed a small crush on the boy over the last year, but had never acted on it. She knew that if she really compared herself to him, they were not a match, but she ignored the voice in her head because she was lonely and she wanted someone to show her that there was more to life than books and school. Hermione knew that this crush had developed because Ron was her friend and they had spent a lot of time in each others company.

"Mione, why are you out here?" he asked.

"Just thinking," she said evasively.

"It's getting cold out," he said.

She merely shrugged her shoulders and looked back out at her surroundings. Hermione wondered if now was the time to tell Ron that she had feelings for him. However, uncertainty was heavy in her mind. After a few moments, she decided that maybe she should tell him how she felt so that they could see where the relationship goes.

"Ron, I wanted to ask you something," she said, looking at him.

"Actually, I wanted to ask you something too," he replied. Hermione looked up at him expectantly, her stomach fluttering.

"You first," she said, hoping that he was going to say he had feelings for her too.

"I was going to ask if you would give Lavender this letter for me," he said, pulling it from his robes. Her stomach plummeted and she stared at Ron in disbelief. She felt as though her heart was being painfully squeezed. He gave her a quizzical look. "What? I know she fancies me, but I can't bring myself to give it to her personally. Besides, I figured since you're kind of friends with her that it would be alright if you did it."

"But…but…wouldn't you be better off with someone you know better?" she asked, hoping that he would see reason.

"Um…the only two girls I know well enough and who know me are you and Ginny. Ginny is my sister so that's a no and you're…well you're _you_," he said, completely missing the look of hurt that crossed her face.

"What's wrong with me?" she asked quietly.

"Mione, you're just you. I don't know. I mean you're not ugly or anything, but Lavender is a beautiful girl who isn't stuck in books all the time."

Hermione felt as though she had been slapped across the face. She couldn't stop the tears of shame and embarrassment that clouded her eyes. Her self-esteem was quickly diminishing.

"You are so insensitive," she snapped angrily.

"What? I wasn't tryin to insult you, Mione. You act like you want to be with me. I think Lavender would be a good match," he said defensively.

"You're right, she would be! You deserve to have someone whose just as arrogant and ignorant as you are!" she yelled and stomped away from him. Ron could only watch with a dumbstruck expression.

Hermione wasn't paying attention when she rounded a corner and ran right into a black-clad figure, knocking them both to the ground.

"GRANGER!" the cold voice boomed. She cringed when she recognized it.

_Why did I have to run into him?_

Hermione hardly recognized the position they were in when she sat up and looked down at him. His expression was murderous. For the first time, she felt afraid of her Potions Professor because there was something in his expression that frightened her.

"Sorry sir," she said quietly.

"Obviously, you're not very sorry since you haven't bothered to remove yourself from my person," he snarled.

Hermione's eyes widened when she realized that she was sitting on top of her Professor in a very inappropriate manner. Her face went crimson and she scrambled to get off of him.

"I'm so sorry, sir!" she exclaimed in embarrassment. He sneered as he got to his feet.

"Indeed. What do you think you are doing running through the halls like a blubbering idiot?" His tone was cold and harsh, causing Hermione to back away slightly.

His words seemed to cut right through her causing her to flinch and back away further. Tears spilled over her cheeks and she refused to meet his gaze. She didn't look at his face so she missed the brewing fury in his eyes.

"I asked you a question!" he snarled, his eyes blazing. She swallowed hard, looking up at him uncertainly.

_Why is he suddenly so angry with me? I didn't do anything to him…_

"I said I was sorry. Why isn't that good enough?" she asked and instantly wished she hadn't. His eyes narrowed dangerously and that was not a good sign.

"Twenty points from Gryffindor for disrespecting a teacher. Another twenty for running through the halls and knocking me over!" he said in a low hiss.

"That's forty points!" she cried.

"Well, I'm glad the little know-it-all knows how to count," he replied coldly. Hermione stared at him in disbelief.

"It was an accident!" she yelled, her anger finally surfacing.

"Keep up this little tirade and see how many points I can take, Miss Granger," he said indifferently.

"Why are you so mean to me?" she asked bluntly, the hurt evident in her voice.

Professor Snape hadn't been expecting that at all. He looked down at her, almost uncomfortably for a brief moment before his face became a mask of cold indifference.

"You, of all people, do not need to know my reasons for anything I say, do, or act on," he snapped viciously.

Hermione scowled through her tears and literally pushed past him, wanting nothing more than to go to her room and cry. Unfortunately, Professor Snape wasn't going to let her get away with shoving him the way she had. She yelped when she felt his iron grip on her arm as he dragged her roughly with him.

"Let go!" she panicked.

"Do you honestly think you can get away with what you just did? You do not leave my presence until I dismiss you and you certainly do not do so in the manner you just did," he said dangerously.

He pushed her roughly into an empty classroom and locked the door. His black eyes looked at her with such malice and hatred that she actually cowered from him. Fear coursed through her as she stared at him in fear.

"Why did you lock the door?" she asked, clearly frightened.

"So no one hears you scream, Miss Granger," he said silkily. Her face paled and she backed away as he approached her.

"Are you going to…hurt me?" she asked uncertainly.

"Honestly Granger, do you think me to be so stupid?" he asked, condescendingly. "I am your Professor. Of course, I'm not going to hurt you."

Hermione was slightly relieved, but that was short lived when she found herself against the wall. Snape placed his arms on either side of her head and looked directly into her eyes. She didn't understand why, but her stomach flipped and she felt strangely warmed by his proximity.

"I should hurt you, Miss Granger," he whispered. Her eyes widened in horror.

"I didn't mean to run into you!" she pleaded.

"That's not it at all," he replied in a hauntingly quiet voice. She frowned this time, uncertain of what he was talking about it.

"Then…is it because…I fell on you?"

Professor Snape shook his head and never took his eyes off of her. She frowned. She looked searchingly into his eyes, trying to figure out exactly what was wrong. She had never been so close to her Professor until now.

"Then…is it…because I pushed you?" He merely shook his head, never taking his eyes off of her. Her frown deepened.

Hermione didn't know what to think. She stared back into his onyx colored eyes with a look of confusion and uncertainty. All the thoughts of Ron had left for a moment as she tried to figure out the most complex man she had ever met. Suddenly, those dark eyes became hard and cold.

"You'll discover soon enough what you have done, Miss Granger." His voice had a bitterness that she hadn't heard before. There was something more in his expression that she didn't recognize or understand and it bothered her to think that she had done something wrong to the man, but she couldn't remember what.

"What do you mean, sir? I haven't done anything that I know of," she whispered. Snape leaned in so close to her that his lips were a mere inch from hers. His breath tickled her face and the sweet scent of mint caused her body to react to him and his proximity. She was almost certain that he was going to kiss her and part of her suddenly wished he would.

_No! He's my Potions Professor!_

"You'll find out," he whispered back and just as quickly as his lips had been so close, they were gone.

Hermione watched him leave the room, confusion clouding her judgment. Her whole body began to tremble as her encounter with Snape really set in. She had never been so close to that man in her life. She had never been so terrified nor had she ever been more confused. What had he been talking about? What had she done that she was so completely unaware of? Especially to him of all people. Too many emotions were going through her all at once that it made Hermione want to hide in her room for a while so on shaking legs, she made her way to the door.

Hermione walked quickly, not paying attention to her footing, causing her to trip and crash to the floor. She gasped as the time-turner shattered and the room began to spin. There was nothing that she could do to stop it. Panic gripped her as she saw flashes of students and teachers through the bright yet translucent light that surround her until finally, it stopped. Hermione's heart was hammering in her chest as she looked around to find an empty classroom, but it was different from the one that she had just been in. Her breath caught when she discovered that she wasn't completely alone.

"Professor…McGonagal?" she asked meekly. The woman looked much younger than what Hermione had remembered, but still looked as though she had her firm expression. However, at the moment, the Professor was staring at her in total shock. It took a moment for her to recover.

"My dear, who are you and how did you get in here?" she asked, approaching Hermione cautiously.

"Professor, it's me, Hermione Granger. My time turner broke…"

"Time-turner?" she gasped in surprise. "Oh dear!"

"What? What time is it? How far back did I go?" Hermione asked in panic.

"It is October 3rd, 1977," McGonagall replied softly.

Hermione's face paled so much that Professor McGonagall had to quickly reach out to steady her before she collapsed.

"Oh no…this can't be happening…" she whispered, her breathing labored. "Twenty years! I went back a whole twenty years."

"I think we'd better go see Professor Dumbledore," Professor McGonagall said worriedly and slowly led the girl out of the classroom.


	2. Chapter 1

**Past Hands Hold Desperate Hearts**

**Chapter 1**

Hermione explained everything to Professor Dumbledore and McGonagall, leaving out some of the bits regarding her interaction with Professor Snape. She only mentioned that he was angry with her and tried to intimidate her as usual, but she didn't mention what he had said. The two Professors spoke quietly to each other before turning to look at her.

"First thing is first, Miss Granger, it will take some time for us to figure out how to send you back to your time. I will have to contact some old friends of mine," Dumbledore said kindly.

Hermione nodded mutely and wondered how long it would take to find her way home. She didn't know what she was supposed to do in the meantime. Concern for her friends and grades were her most prominent worries.

"There is another issue though," Dumbledore said, catching her attention.

"What's that, sir?" she asked.

"You mentioned a Professor Snape," he said, getting a frown from her.

"Yes sir, doesn't he work here in this time? He is the Potions Master," she replied uncertainly, but somehow she knew that she was missing something. After everything that had happened within the last hour, she hadn't really thought about where her teacher would be at this point in time.

"No, we do not have a teacher by that name. Are you referring to Severus Snape?"

"Yes. He had black hair and really dark eyes with kind of…a big nose…um…if he doesn't work here, why does it matter?"

"Well, my dear, because we have a Severus Snape in Slytherin house. He is a seventh year," Dumbledore said with twinkling eyes. There was silence as Hermione let the news set in, then her eyes widened in horror.

"Professor Snape is a student?" she shrieked.

"Yes. You will probably see quite a bit of him in classes," he replied with a smile.

"Classes? I have to attend classes with him? Wait…I have to attend classes?" she asked.

"Yes, I think it would be best if you became one of the students in this time until we figure out how to send you back. At least your classes would still apply to your NEWT's when you go back to your own time."

Hermione groaned and put her face in her hands. She wasn't sure if things could get any worse for her. There was definitely too much to deal with in the short amount of time.

"Well, at least he can't take points away from me," she sighed, but there was a bitterness in her voice.

"Now, Miss Granger, I must insist that while you are here, you try not to alter anything," Dumbledore said seriously. Hermione nodded and then frowned after a moment.

"Um…James Potter and Lily Evans attend here now too, don't they?" she asked shakily.

"Yes, they do," Dumbledore replied.

"Why? Does that matter?" Minerva asked.

"They both-" she started to answer, but Dumbledore stopped her.

"Stop. We are not permitted to know. This is what I am talking about. You cannot speak of the future or attempt to change it," the Headmaster told her, but gave Minerva a pointed look, who looked distinctly uncomfortable.

"I understand, but doesn't me being here already change things," she asked.

"Yes, but we'll worry about that later," he replied with a smile. "You are wearing muggle attire. I assume that today was also a weekend in your time?"

"Yes, sir."

"What house were you in?" Minerva asked.

"Gryffindor."

Minerva's face lit up instantly. She couldn't help but wonder if this young woman was anything like Miss Evans as far as her academic standing went. It would be so nice to have another honors student within the house.

"Excellent! We'll place you in Gryffindor and if anyone asked, we'll simply say that you're a transfer student from Beaubaxtons. We'll also say that you are Minerva's niece so there is some kind of family for you to link to," Dumbledore cut in.

Hermione nodded and gave a weak smile. The day certainly hadn't gone at all like she had expected it to. Now she was stuck in a time with Harry's parents and Snape. Hermione was quite sure it couldn't get any worse.

"I think we'll need to get you some school supplies. All the students are at Hogsmead so Minerva can take you to Diagon Alley to shop," Dumbledore said and opened one of his desk drawers. "Take this." He handed her a purple velvet bag and when Hermione opened it, she could see nothing but shiny galleons. Her head snapped up sharply.

"But sir, I couldn't possibly-"

"Yes, you can and you will," he cut in kindly. "Believe me, I have enough to go around." Hermione knew that there was no point in arguing.

"Thank you, sir."

"You're very welcome. Now, off you go," he said and watched as Minerva and Hermoine used the 'floo' network to go to Diagon Alley. "Well, at least I know I'll have a Potions Master after Horace retires."

Hermione had gotten all of her books, quills, inkwells, and other classroom necessities, as well as a few school robes and some muggle clothes. She thought she was finished until Minerva led her into a negligee shop. Hermione almost refused to go in until Minerva practically dragged her.

"Come now dear, surely, you've been into a negligee shop before?" she questioned.

"Um…no I haven't," Hermione replied uncomfortably.

"Oh well, then this should be a memorable experience for you," she said and led the young Gryffindor to a section of colorful knickers and bras. Hermione felt her cheeks burn as Minerva began sifting through them.

"I will definitely remember this…" she mumbled softly.

"Now, you look about a C cup," she said, holding up a black lace bra causing Hermione's face to turn a deeper shade of red. "Oh, there's no need to be so modest, my dear. I shop here all the time. Besides, I do not have any children so it's nice that you are here so I have someone to dote on," Minerva said. Hermione gave her a small smile and took the bra, admiring the intricate lace designs.

"I've never had fancy clothes like _these_ before," she said softly.

"You're mother never bought you any?" Minerva asked.

"Oh…no. Actually, I was too young at the time…they died. They were killed by Death Eaters in the war," Hermione replied.

"War?"

"Oh! I shouldn't have said that!" Hermione gasped in horror.

"It's alright, dear. I'm sorry to hear about your parents," Minerva said kindly.

"Thank you. I've dealt with it pretty well I think. It's hard but I have my friends to keep me company," she replied.

Hermione had always considered Minerva McGonagall a mother figure in her life. Now that she was thinking about it, the woman had always been involved in her life somehow. When she was a little girl she remembered Minerva coming over and having tea with her parents. It was because of her that she discovered she was a witch. How did that happen? The woman had always seemed to know her. Was it because of what was happening now? Hermione started to wonder if perhaps these current events were the reason she and Minerva had always had a connection. There were times as a child that her parents would go out and leave her in Minerva's care for the night.

Hermione smiled genuinely at the older woman who was selecting several more garments for her. Now she knew why Minerva's always been a family friend. Hermione was grateful for it because when her parents died, Minerva was the first person she ran to. The woman never mentioned that Hermione came through time and met her. Perhaps, it was because she was supposed to find out on her own. Now she knew and she was thankful she had the older woman.

"Professor, can I call you, Aunt Minerva?" she asked. Minerva's face lit up and she smiled warmly at her.

"I would very much like it if you did," she replied.

Hermione's fears left her and she began to openly sift through the under garments. When they left, they had several pairs of knicker sets and a few nice nighties for Hermione. It was almost funny t see Minerva select a nice gold nightie for herself, saying that it was Albus's favorite color.

Minerva took Hermione to an Italian restaurant for lunch before they headed back to Hogwarts. Her discomfort of being in the castle returned when she thought about the people she would see.

"Now, Hermione, you mentioned James Potter and Lily Evans earlier. You do realize that you will be sharing a common room with them and you will be rooming with Miss Evans, don't you?" she asked.

"Yes, I figured as much," she replied.

"Miss Evans is a school prefect so she has her own room, but she's agreed to have you room with her. I'm sure she would like the company anyway."

Hermione nodded and followed the woman into the room. Hermione felt a lump in her throat when a beautiful red-head walked out and greeted them. Her heart ached as she found herself looking into an identical set of Harry's eyes.

"Hi, I'm Lily," she greeted kindly.

"I'm Hermione," the brunette replied softly.

"Miss Evans, I will leave my niece in your care," Minerva said and smiled at Hermione before leaving.

"So, you transferred here from Beaubaxtons?" Lily asked.

"Yes," Hermione replied. "My parents are gone so I've come to stay with my aunt and attend school here." It wasn't a blatant lie. She hated the fact that she had to lie about herself to Harry's mum.

"I'm sorry to hear about you parents," Lily said.

"Thanks," Hermione said softly. She honestly didn't want to think about them.

"Let's get you settled into you room and then I'll show you around," Lily said, changing the subject once she noticed Hermione's discomfort.

"Alright," Hermione said happily.

The two of them went to the room and began putting all Hermione's new things away. If Hermione were honest with herself, she was glad that she had a female friend to spend time with. Ginny was the only female that Hermione had really been close to that was around her own age.

"Oooh! I like these," Lily said holding up some of Hermione's new knickers.

"Yes, Aunt Minerva insisted I buy some," she replied with a smirk.

"Really? I never would have pegged Professor McGonagall as someone who liked sexy lingerie," Lily said in surprise.

"Neither did I," Hermione said genuinely.

Once everything was put away, Hermione found herself really enjoying Lily's company as they walked through the halls. Hermione was so tempted to tell Lily the truth but knew she couldn't. She couldn't risk the entire wizarding world even if it was for her best friend's parents.

Several students eyed Hermione curiously, but she paid them no mind, however when she spotted a group of boys coming their way, her stomach flipped. Hermione knew exactly who they were.

"Hey, Lily!" a handsome boy with shoulder length black hair, called.

"Hi, Sirius. Guys, I'd like you to meet the new Gryffindor, Hermione Granger," Lily said.

"Hey! Fresh Meat!" Sirius said and got slapped upside the head by Lily.

"Hermione, this idiot is Sirius Black," she said and turned to look at the boy. "Hermione is also Professor McGonagall's niece."

"Oh." After that, Lily ignored him and moved on.

"This is James Potter," Lily said and if it wasn't for the eyes, Hermione would have sworn that she was looking at Harry. "This is Peter Pettigrew." Hermione looked at the chubby boy.

It took a lot of willpower to not hex the boy right then and there. She had to remember that this boy was innocent and not the traitor that she knew in her time. In fact, he was almost cute in a nerdy kind of way. He even looked quite shy. Hermione gave him a slight nod of acknowledgment like she had done the rest.

"And this is Remus Lupin," Lily said, pointing to the quiet boy. Hermione smiled warmly at him, thinking it was nice to see a familiar face even if the boy didn't know it yet.

"Where are you from?" Remus asked.

"Beaubaxtons," she replied.

"Really? I thought all girls in that school were supposed to be these gorgeous veelas," Sirius said without thinking.

Hermione felt as though she had been slapped in the face again. The familiar conversation with Ron came racing back to her and she had to do everything in her power to control her emotions. Remus and Lily gave the boy a dirty look and James moved away from him. Lily slapped Sirius again, but Hermione didn't bother staying. She quickly moved past them and turned the corner despite Remus's protests. The last thing she wanted was for them to see how much that comment hurt her feelings. It was bad enough that Ron had insulted her in the same manner. Hermione had never really given much thought to her appearance, but now she was feeling extremely self-conscious.

"Hermione, wait!" Lily called.

Hermione reluctantly waited but noticed a lone figure on the other side of the corridor from her. She froze when she found herself looking into the black eyes of a very young, Severus Snape. Their eyes locked for a moment before he gave her a nasty sneer and stalked away. Hermione watched him retreat, noticing that he was almost no different than she remembered aside from his youthfulness. He was still sour, seemingly unpleasant, thin and lanky. His hair looked worse now than she remembered it being in her own time and he was certainly more unhealthy looking.

"Hermione, I am so sorry about Sirius. He can be such an idiot," Lily told her. Hermione gave her a watery smile.

"It's alright, I know I'm not pretty, but it's just the boy I had a crush on for a year made that clear to me too and it just hurt," she sniffed.

"Oh! That's not true! I think you're beautiful! Sirius is a real flirt and only talks to girls who look like Barbie. He's very superficial."

If Hermione wasn't so upset, she would have laughed at the Barbie comment, but instead, she merely nodded her head and looked in the direction that Snape had gone.

"Looking for that boy?" Lily asked.

"What? Oh no…I mean…he just reminds me of someone I knew," she stammered.

"Sorry to hear that," Lily said with a touch of bitterness to her voice.

"I take it you don't like him?" she asked the red-head.

"That's Severus Snape from Slytherin and no one likes him. We used to be friends until he came here and found out that muggle-borns are disliked by purebloods. It's funny because he isn't even pureblood. His father is a muggle. Anyway, he called me a mudblood last year and we haven't talked since. It doesn't matter though. I certainly don't need a friend like him and he's nothing but trouble," Lily said without a hint of remorse.

"He doesn't look very friendly," Hermione said, pretending she knew nothing about him.

"No, he isn't. He's a git. No one wants to be around him. Even his own house members can't stand him," Lily said walking with her new friend down the hall.

"That reminds me a lot of the person I knew back home. He was always very sour to everyone. No one liked him. I think it's kind of sad actually," Hermione said.

"Yes well, Snape deserves what he gets. He's cruel to everyone."

Hermione nodded and walked with Lily to the Great Hall. Some of the students were already there taking their seats for dinner. She sat with Lily at the Gryffindor table and began to relax. Her eyes scanned the Hall and landed on Slytherin table.

Hermione couldn't help but look at her young Potions Professor, who was bent over a book, his hair falling around his face as he ignored everyone around him. She looked over his features closely, taking in his young appearance. Hermione had never really thought about him as anything other than her Professor. He was so untouchable that she hadn't even wanted to speak to him unless she absolutely had to. Now, she felt an urge to get to know him. She wasn't sure if it was because he was a student and less intimidating or because of what the Snape from her time had said to her.

Snape seemed to sense that someone was looking at him and looked up sharply. Hermione didn't even have time to look away because he was so quick. Once again, she found herself staring into those obsidian eyes. He gave her a vicious scowl, causing her to look away quickly.

_Ok. I was wrong. He's just as intimidating now as he is in my own time. If I ever want to get to know him, I better go back another 17 years. _


	3. Chapter 2

**Past Hands Hold Desperate Hearts**

**Chapter 2**

The weekend went by uneventfully for Hermione much to her relief. She was now attending her first day of class and surprisingly, she was a nervous wreck. Thankfully, Lily was with her for most of the classes.

They sat together in Potions and watched as Slughorn wrote the assignment on the board. It was unfortunate for her that she wouldn't be paired up with Lily for the duration of the class when Slughorn made his announcement.

"Now, everyone knows who they are partnering with so go ahead and get started."

"My partner is James," Lily said uncertainly. Hermione waved it off.

"It's alright."

"Miss Granger," Slughorn called. "Since everyone else has a partner, you will be with Mr. Snape."

Hermione felt her stomach plummet. That was the last thing she needed. Glancing in his direction, she noticed that he didn't have a partner and probably never had one. Several of the other Slytherins snickered at a very angry looking Snape while the Gryffindor's gave her sympathetic looks. Giving Lily a weak smile, she moved her things to his table causing him to scowl blackly at her before turning away.

She began to set up her cauldron while he stalked off to gather the supplies they needed. Hermione glanced at Lily to see her giggling softly at James's attempt to be cute with her. When she looked back ay her table, Snape was there organizing ingredients.

He didn't speak to her as he began chopping roots. Hermione gathered a few ingredients and began slicing them with the same precision that _Professor_ Snape had taught her. She could see Snape glance at her every so often from the corner of her eye. Apparently, he was satisfied with her work because he didn't comment on it. Hermione was used to silence when she worked so listening to the other students talking while they worked was really quite annoying. It was obvious that Slughorn was not much for discipline.

Hermione added the first ingredient and lowered the heat to the cauldron. She could feel Snape watching her every move and she did her best to ignore him. It almost felt like she was back in her old Potions class except he couldn't take points and he wasn't looming over her like he normally did with his intimidation tactics. Hermione was careful as she stirred the mixture. Her face was flushed slightly and she knew that it wasn't because of the Potion in front of her.

"So Snape, how do you like working with a Gryffindor?" a chubby Slytherin asked.

Snape glared at him but said nothing before he looked back at her. He and Hermione made eye contact and he turned up his lip in disgust.

_He probably thinks I look like a troll too…_

Hermione looked quietly back at the cauldron and willed herself not to feel too insulted. It was Snape after all. There was absolutely no reason to like her.

Severus noticed the solemn expression on her face and raised a brow. Surely, she would know that Slytherins and Gryffindors did not get along. He dropped the next ingredient in the cauldron and took over stirring. He watched the new Gryffindor from the corner of his eye, trying to figure her out.

Hermione jotted down a few notes neatly in her notebook before glancing up at the other Gryffindors. To her surprise, Sirius Black sauntered over to her and she felt the urge to ask Slughorn permission to leave the class.

"I'm sorry about the other day," he whispered in her ear. "I didn't mean to insult you."

"It's alright, I don't really want to talk about it," she replied, backing away slightly. Sirius, however, wrapped an arm around her waist much to her discomfort.

"You know, you could always come out with me sometime," he said suggestively.

"Um…no thanks. I don't go out," she said uncomfortably, slipping out of his embrace.

"You will," he said confidently.

"Right…um…don't you have to help your partner?" she asked, hoping that he would go away.

"Nah, she's got it," he replied, oblivious to her discomfort. Sirius turned up his lip when he noticed Snape. "I pity you, Hermione. You have to be partnered with Snivellus." Hermione say Snape's face and his glare could have killed.

"You mean, Severus," she corrected in annoyance.

"No, it's Snivellus," Sirius sneered looking at the lanky boy.

"Fuck you, Mutt!" Snape hissed, finally speaking.

Hermione was shocked by his language but didn't comment. It was difficult to picture him cursing like that when his adult version didn't. At least he hadn't when students had been around. She looked nervously between the two boys as their eyes locked in a heated glare.

"You should watch out with him, Hermione. Snivellus is into the Dart Arts and is probably already a Death Eater," Sirius snarled. Snape clenched his fists until they turned white.

"Death Eaters have the Dark Mark on their left forearm," she said quietly noticing that Snape's sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and there were no marks on his pale skin.

"Don't defend him. He isn't worth it. Lily found that out the hard way," Sirius warned.

Hermione didn't say anything to that. What could she say? Snape really had screwed that one up. Snape didn't say anything but his eyes spoke volumes. He was furious. He didn't seem to regret what he had done, but it was hard to tell with Snape.

Sirius finally left and Hermione let out a sigh of relief. It was short-lived when she realized she was standing next to a living time bomb. Snape glared daggers at her.

"What?" she asked in surprise. He merely scowled and went back to working on the potion leaving Hermione in a state of confusion.

Once class was over, everyone was quick to bottle their potions and leave. Hermione returned the remaining ingredients to the store room and when she turned around she almost screamed. Snape had closed the door and shoved her against the wall. His eyes glittered dangerously.

"Don't you ever try to defend me again," he snarled. "I can take care of myself. I don't need some fucking girl to say anything in my defense." Hermione was trembling from head to toe. She didn't know what to say or what to do.

"I…"

"Do you understand?" he asked coldly. She nodded meekly, afraid to speak.

Snape roughly let go of her and backed away. He could tell that he had scared her thoroughly. Tears glazed over her eyes and she was shaking controllably. He swallowed down the guilt he felt and stormed out of the store room.

Hermione was trying to regain control of her breathing when Remus and Lily walked in.

"Hermione, what's wrong?" Lily asked instantly by her side. Remus looked worriedly at her and then out at Snape who glared at him before leaving the classroom.

"Nothing. I just…Snape scared me. That's all," Hermione said with a slight waver in her voice. Lily and Remus narrowed their eyes.

"What did he say?" Lily asked.

"What did he do is more like it?" Remus cut in angrily.

"Nothing. He just told me not to defend him. I…I guess he was…embarrassed because I'm a girl. That's all," Hermione replied.

"You look terrified," Remus pointed out.

"Oh well…Snape is kind of scary to be around. That and I don't know him that well so he just kind of scared me. I'm fine though, really," she said, feeling a little more confident. Lily and Remus looked skeptical, but it was obvious that Hermione wasn't going to tell them anything more.

"Alright, well, we'd better get to the next class before we're late," Lily said.

"Ok." With that, the three of them left the classroom.

Classes went by fast the rest of the day and Hermione made sure to avoid sitting anywhere near Snape. Surprisingly, Snape kept watching her when he thought she wasn't looking. His expression was blank, but his eyes almost suggested that he was somewhat remorseful. She didn't want to dwell on it though. He made it clear that he didn't want anything to do with her.

Transfiguration was her last class of the day and while the rest of the class was filing out. Hermione was going to McGonagall's desk.

"Aunt Minerva, do you think we could talk?" she asked. She didn't see Snape's eyes widen in surprise and apprehension.

"Sure Hermione. Why don't we have some tea in my office?" she suggested. Hermione noticed Snape's expression but didn't bother telling him that she wasn't going to mention anything to Minerva about what he had done.

She wanted him to stew about it. Hermione walked into the office and sat down with Minerva.

"So, how has classes been going?" Minerva asked as poured herself and Hermione a cup. Minerva handed her the cup and watched as Hermione sipped it.

"Classes are alright. I don't like how Slughorn let's his students talk and walk around during class. It's kind of a distracting," she said.

"Yes well, Horrace has always been far too lenient with his students," Minerva said with distaste. Hermione smiled at the woman. She certainly hadn't changed much. She was still strict.

"How have you taken to Miss Evans?" Minerva asked.

"Oh, she's great. I like her a lot," she replied, sipping her tea again.

"I'm glad to hear it. Have you made any other friends?"

"Well, I talk to Remus a little. James is nice but I honestly think Sirius is kind of obnoxious," Hermione said, causing Minerva to laugh softly.

"Yes, he can be. He's quite the lady's man from what I understand," Minerva replied.

"Yes, I've heard."

"Be careful with that one, Hermione. He's a great friend but he isn't the 'one woman' man type, if you know what I mean," she told Hermione seriously.

"Oh, don't worry. I have no interest. It's funny because Sirius told me to watch out for Snape earlier today," Hermione said.

"Yes well, Mr. Snape and Mr. Black have never gotten along. They've hated each other before they got off the train for their first-year," Minerva replied in obvious disapproval.

"Why?"

"I have no idea. I assume that Mr. Black just didn't like Mr. Snape because of their differences. Mr. Snape is a unique boy. He's distant from everyone and isolated. He doesn't get along with any student, not even from his own house. It's a shame, really. Mr. Snape is quite an intelligent boy. He's got a bright future if he just stays on track." Hermione listened with interest wanting to know more about the man she knew from her time. "Have you tried to befriend Mr. Snape?" she asked. Hermione shifted slightly and shook her head.

"No, he wasn't very nice to me so I didn't really bother," she admitted guiltily. Minerva smiled.

"He's a tough one to crack. Miss Evans couldn't do it and obviously no one has been able to. The boy needs a friend," Minerva told her.

"I could try, but I don't think he'd take that very well," Hermione said.

"You'll never know unless you try. Anyway, you should probably get to dinner. I'm sure Miss Evans will start scouring the castle soon if you don't." Hermione laughed and nodded.

"I imagine she will. Thank you for the tea," Hermione replied.

"You're very welcome."

Hermione left McGonagall's office, feeling much better that she had. She was alone in the corridor until she turned the corner and ran right into Snape.

_How many times must I do that?_

It took a moment to realize that he was apparently waiting for her. His eyes were narrowed and he was looking at her suspiciously.

"What?" she asked nervously.

"Did you go running to your Aunt about earlier?" he asked coldly. Hermione frowned at him.

"No, actually I didn't," she replied. "I was just talking about how things have been with classes and adjusting to the school. Besides, it's none of your business what I talk about with her." Snape's eyes became much colder and Hermione wondered if he was going to hit her.

"You should watch how you talk to me," he hissed.

"Why? Because you're a Slytherin or because I'm a mudblood?" she snarled, surprising him. "I haven't even done anything to you! Why are you treating me like your enemy?"

"Because you are!" she snapped.

"Why? Because I'm a Gryffindor?" she asked angrily.

"That's the main reason, yes. Besides, you're friends with Black. That automatically pegs you as an enemy," he said with a cold and unfeeling tone.

"Sirius Black is not exactly what I would call a friend," she retorted hotly.

"Really? You two looked awfully cozy during Potions earlier," he said with an evil smirk. "Have you already let him into your knickers?"

The sound of her hand resonating off his face could be heard through out the empty corridor. She was furious and he was shocked. He stared at her in disbelief before he quickly became enraged.

"How dare you!" he snapped.

"No! How dare you, Snape! Don't think that because I'm new here that you can just walk around and imply that I'm some sort of tramp! I don't want Sirius to touch me and even if I had, it would be none of your damn business!" she yelled.

He grabbed her arm and dragged her into the boy's empty restroom. She jerked away from him, but he blocked her from leaving.

"You're going to pay for hitting me," he snarled. "I don't care who you are to anyone because you'll be nothing but a mudblood whore to me!"

Hermione shoved him away from her angrily. Both of them drew their wands and aimed them at each other.

_What is wrong with him? He wants to bait me into fighting. Why?_

"You know, Snape, you really need help."

"I don't need help from anyone," he snarled.

"Well then, you really need to get laid and let out some of those frustration," she sneered.

"You offering?" he snapped back.

"Do I look that desperate?" she asked and instantly regretted it when she saw a look of hurt cross his face.

Severus lowered his wand before putting it away and heading for the door. Those words hurt because everyone made sure to tell him just how ugly and unwanted he was. That was one of the reasons for his cruelty. Hermione jumped in front of him, but all he did was glare without saying a word.

"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't really mean it, but you called me a mudblood whore for no reason and I was angry," she said.

"I don't care if you are sorry. It makes no difference to me," he replied coldly.

"Why do you act like this? Why couldn't we be friends?" she asked.

Severus laughed almost evilly, making Hermione distinctly uncomfortable since she had never actually heard Snape laugh in her entire life. His cold black eyes were glittering with amusement as he glared at her.

"I'm the one that's not that desperate. Why would I want to be friends with someone like you? You certainly aren't the prettiest girl in the world," he sneered.

Hermione tucked her wand away and took off before he could see the tears in her eyes. She rushed to get away from him but he seemed determined to keep after her. Part of her wished that he would just hex her and be done with it.

"Hey! If you go running to your Aunt about any of this, I'll tell about how you slapped me!" he said coldly. Hermione whirled around and slapped him soundly across the face again.

"There you go! Tell about that one too, you little bastard!" she snapped angrily, despite her tears.

Severus rubbed his face and glared at her retreating back. He didn't know why he kept trying to taunt her. There was something about her that kept begging his attention and he hated it.

Hermione saw Lily and immediately went to her. She was glad that she still had her to confide in because if she didn't, Hermione didn't know what she'd do. Lily wrapped her arms around her friend's shoulders.

"What happened?" she asked as they to the Great Hall.

"Snape. He's trying to start a fight with me and he called me ugly in his own way," Hermione replied, wiping her eyes.

"Where is he? I'm going to hex him myself!" Lily growled, getting ready to turn and look for him.

"No! It's alright," she said.

"It's not alright, Hermione."

"I slapped him twice across the face already," the brunette said. Lily's brows shot up.

"You did? Wow. I can't believe you're not in the Hospital Wing," she said in astonishment.

"He wouldn't have hurt me," Hermione said with a touch of uncertainty.

"Yes, he would have," Lily said firmly. "In third year, Bellatrix Black played some cruel prank on him and he actually punched her in the face. Fifth year, another girl turned his hair pink and he practically threw her across the room. He's gotten into several fights with boys and girls since he has been here. That's why many people don't like him and almost all of them fear him. He's known to be dangerous."

Hermione absorbed everything she had just been told and swallowed hard. She hadn't realized that Snape had no problem hitting another student, even if the student was a female.

"I didn't know. I wonder why he didn't try to hurt me then. Well, at least he didn't try physically anyway."

"I don't know. Maybe it's for the same reason he stares at you in class and during meals," Lily said with a smirk. "He probably fancies you."

Hermione gaped at her friend before bursting out laughing. All of her anger just slipped away suddenly as she pictured the surly boy sending her flowers and whispering sweet nothings to her. It was just unbelievable.

"There's…no way! Me? No way! I'd probably have to be a veela to get his attention!" she laughed.

"I think you're pretty the way you are and besides…" Lily leaned over and whispered to her, "…he told me once when we were friends that he liked brunettes with dark or hazel colored eyes. Yours are like honey. That's his favorite and you fit the bill, Hermione."

Now Hermione was seriously shocked. She didn't know Snape had a type. Again, it came down to the fact she hadn't ever considered Snape as an intimate kind of person. The thought boggled her mind.

"Come on, let's go to dinner," Lily said and practically dragged the girl along with her.

They sat down and began filling their plates. Hermione glanced up when she saw Snape enter the Hall, but didn't linger on him too long. She wanted to ignore him. So she turned to Lily and resumed her conversation.

Severus sat down and grabbed himself a plate of food. He couldn't stop his eyes from looking at the Gryffindor table. He shoveled some food into his mouth and watched a certain Gryffindor. Severus made sure to watch her through his curtain of hair so that she wouldn't notice him. He watched her talk easily to Miss Evans. She didn't look his direction once as they ate and it further irritated him. He bit viciously into his steak and watched her laugh with her friends. Severus scowled with jealously. He was the only student that was isolated from everyone else.

He had no friends, no girlfriend, no jokes or happy memories. He had nothing to look forward to and this new girl seemed to have everything. Did he despise her because he was jealous? He wasn't sure. Maybe it was because she was someone he couldn't have.

When dinner was finished, Hermione walked out with Lily and the rest of the Marauders. James was taking a lot of Lily's time so Hermione took comfort in Remus's company instead.

"I noticed you like to read a lot," he said shyly.

"Yes, I've always been very bookish. I actually used to get teased a lot for it," Hermione replied.

"Yeah, I know the feeling. Sirius is always teasing me for studying all the time," he laughed, feeling a little more comfortable.

"I thought I was used to it, but sometimes it really does get to me," Hermione admitted.

Remus nodded his understanding. The two had a mild conversation concerning books and interests before Hermione decided to call it a night. She had definitely had enough stress for one day. The young Gryffindor went to her room and undressed. All she wanted to do was crawl under the covers and go into a dreamless sleep so she didn't have to see the images of her young Potions Master.


	4. Chapter 3

***Quick warning***

**_This story will become sexually graphic in later chapters. If you do not like it, please do not read it. _**

**Past Hands Hold Desperate Hearts**

**Chapter 3**

Weeks went by in a blur and before Hermione knew it, it was mid-November. Halloween was just another day in this time with decorations and a Halloween themed feast but no dances or parties like in her time. Hermione became closer and closer to Lily and Remus while distancing herself from Snape. In fact she hadn't spoken to him since the day he threatened her.

Severus Snape seemed to be even more withdrawn from people than before. Hermione noticed that he stared at her almost all the time. There were times when she'd look his way and he'd turn red and look away. Hermione even suspected that he followed her on occasion. When she was going to classes, Hogsmead, or the library, she could swear that Snape was watching her.

He was often lurking in the shadows or dark alcoves. He never approached her or spoke to her. He only watched. Hermione wasn't sure if she should feel flattered or completely creeped out. Hermione thought she was doing pretty well avoiding Snape until Slughorn decided they would make good partners on a Potions essay.

Severus watched as she sat down next to him and kept her eyes toward the front of the class. His expressions were always cold and unfriendly, but his eyes constantly stayed on her.

"Do you know what kind of Potion you want to research?" she asked.

"Why can't you look at me when you speak to me?" Snape asked silkily. Hermione looked at him in annoyance.

"Why can't you speak to me with at least some respect?" she countered. He raised a brow.

"Respect a mudblood?" he sneered. He saw Hermione's jaw tighten as she tried to control her anger. She was tempted to slap him, but they were still in class.

"Why is it that the first time we speak since I came here you have been so cruel to me?" she asked. He didn't reply to that. He looked somewhat uncomfortable and immediately changed the subject.

"Alright, do you want to meet in the library for this or am I supposed to do all the work?" he asked snidely.

"I'll meet you in the library," she ground out. "I wouldn't want you to strain yourself on a simple essay."

Snape scowled at the mockery and resumed listening to Slughorn's lectures. Hermione ignored Snape until her classes were finished. She caught up with the raven-haired boy as he headed out of the last class.

He spared her a glance before heading to the library. He didn't say anything as they found themselves a seat in a secluded part of the library. Hermione felt her stomach knot up as she sat across from him. This was the closest she'd been to Snape in over a month.

"So what are we going to write the essay on?" she asked. He shrugged indifferently.

"I don't know. Everyone else is doing theirs on Calming Draughts and Healing Potions," he sneered.

"Well, are we just going on facts or can we do theory?" she asked. He shrugged again.

"We could do theory I suppose. All of it has to be based on fact though," he said, eyeing her curiously, "What did you have in mind?"

"Maybe we could write a theory on a Potion that helps ease, if not cures, the effects of the Cruciatus Curse." Snapes eyes went wide and he stared at her in disbelief. No one had ever even dared that subject.

"Why does that one come to mind?" he asked.

Hermione shrugged this time. It was the one curse of the three Unforgivables that the one that caused pain.

"I knew some people who had gone through it," she replied. "A friend of mind…his parents were tortured until they went insane."

"Who did it?" he asked quietly.

"Bel-no one important," she quickly amended, but he had heard the slip up.

"Who? I know you know because you almost said it," he pressed.

"I can't talk about it. Besides, I also know what the curse feels like. So, having some kind of potion to ease the effects of it would be beneficial," she said, pulling out her notebook.

"You? Someone cursed you?" he asked in disbelief. Hermione raised a brow.

"Yes, me. Look, it doesn't matter. It was a while ago. Do you want to write about it or not?" she asked in annoyance.

"Sure, let's write the essay on it, but you better hope that Slughorn gives us a good mark for it," he snapped.

"Oh, I'm sure he will. You're one of his precious Slytherins," she sneered in a very Snapish manner.

"Not every Slytherin gets favoritism from him!"

"I'm shocked," she said mockingly. "I thought you all stuck together."

"Well, you're wrong!" he growled.

_That's a shock. They sure do stick together in my time._

"Besides, you shouldn't even talk. You're in Gryffindor and McGonagall is your Aunt and Head of House."

"It doesn't matter. I have always received high marks. My grades are earned not given," she said proudly.

"Well then, why don't you get under the table and earn a grade from me?" he asked with a nasty smirk.

"What? What does that mean?" she asked. He actually burst out laughing and left to get some reference books.

_What the hell? Why is laughing? What did that mean? Under the table…earn a grade…from him…oh! OH!_

Hermione couldn't believe that he had actually made a lewd comment towards her. When he came back, he was smiling with a look of mirth in his eyes.

"You little pervert!" she snapped.

"Oh, so we finally caught on, did we?" he asked in amusement.

"Shut up."

"What's the matter? Don't you know anything about sex? Probably not, considering you didn't catch on to that comment for a while," he said. Hermione felt her face flush and she ground her teeth.

"What do you know of it? You don't exactly look like you get around," she snapped. The grin left his face and he glared menacingly at her.

"Fuck you! I don't need to waste my time with simpering females who do nothing but crave attention and whine about how they don't have everything their friends have," he said nastily.

"Well, I don't need to waste my time on hormonal boys who do nothing but brag about how big their cocks are…" Severus's jaw dropped,"…and constantly need sexual attention before they become desolated and depressed," she replied evenly, smirking inwardly at Snape's gaping expression. He shut his mouth with a snap and raised an inquisitive eyebrow at her.

"So…I assume you are a virgin?" he asked.

"Why are we discussing my womanhood?" she asked.

"I don't know, I just thought I'd ask," he said, shrugging indifferently but feeling his cheeks burn. She sighed and sat back.

"Well, since we're getting to know each other so personally…" she started sarcastically, "…yes, I am a virgin. No, I have never kissed anyone, no, I have never had a boyfriend and another 'no' I don't know the first thing about sex." Snape was staring at her with wide eyes. He hadn't expected to learn that much in a matter of thirty seconds.

"Oh…ok," he said slowly.

"What about you?" she asked calmly.

"What about me?" he countered defensively.

"You asked me a personal question so why don't you tell me something personal about you?" Her expression was dead serious causing him to shift uncomfortably. "Well?" she pressed.

"Alright, alright! Yes! I'm a virgin, but I won't be for long," he said quickly. Hermione rolled her eyes but felt an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. It's not like she really cared what he did with someone else…right? "No, I haven't been with a girl or kissed one, but like I said, that won't be for long and I do know a bit about sex."

"I take it you don't have a girl-friend?" she said indifferently.

"Why? I hope you're not trying to be it," he said with a nasty smirk.

"No, Snape. I am not. God forbid, that I should stoop down to that level," she snapped. His jaw tightened, but he kept his tongue in check, surprisingly. Instead, he folded his arms in front of him on the table.

"Since we're on this lovely topic of our personal lives…let me ask, why did you move here?" he asked, his tone on the edge of iciness.

"I had no choice," she replied shortly and began flipping through several pages of a rather large tome.

"Ok, then are you staying here for the holidays or going home?"

"I _am_ home," she said evasively not even looking at him. He flattened his brows, completely unimpressed with her answers.

"I meant to your parents house then," he clarified. Hermione let out an irritated sigh and glared at him.

"I don't have a home, Snape! I don't have parents either! They were murdered last year! Are you happy now?"

"I didn't know about your parents so there's no need to snap at me, you little swat!" he growled.

"Why do you want to know anything about me? I thought you just wanted to get this project over with," she said.

"You know what? I have no idea why I'm asking you questions. I don't even like you," he said, his voice going cold and his eyes becoming hard.

Hermione wasn't at all sure how to react to that. One minute he was trying to get to know her and the next he was hating the very sight of her. She couldn't help but feel hurt nor could she understand why it bothered her so much.

_Great! I had to screw it up. Wait! What am I saying? This is Snape. Why should I care how he feels?_

"I'm sorry, alright?" she sighed, going against her conscious. "I get defensive when it comes to my parents." He shrugged.

"Mmm."

"You must still have your parents," she pointed out.

"Unfortunately," he mumbled and began going through another book. His remark kind of surprised her.

"What do you mean, 'unfortunately'?" she asked.

"Exactly what I said. I wish my parents were dead," he sneered. She gasped.

"You can't be serious! You're lucky to have your parents," she scolded. Snape's eyes narrowed and she noticed his fists clenched with building rage.

"You don't know a fucking thing about my parents! You have no idea what they're like so don't tell me how I should talk about them!" he hissed angrily. Hermione could swear that his eyes became darker and tried not to flinch under his burning gaze.

"There's no need to get defensive about it," she said uncomfortably.

"That's rich coming from you!" he snapped viciously.

"You know…you're not very pleasant company," she remarked.

"Neither are you! You're nothing but a Gryffindor whore," he spat.

Hermione's mouth fell and she stared at him in shock. She wasn't sure which Snape she preferred, this one or the one from her own time.

"Stop being so damn cruel!" she shot back.

"Don't tell me what to do," he snapped, his voice going a little higher pitch than normal.

Hermione rubbed her eyes and sighed in frustration. Why did she get stuck with the most infuriating person in school?

"Ok, Sn…Severus, I'm sorry. I don't want to fight with you. Let's just pretend to be friends and finish our assignments," she suggested.

He snorted but otherwise seemed to agree that they should just set their differences aside and work on the project. Although, there was obvious tension, they did manage to work together.


	5. Chapter 4

**Past Hands Hold Desperate Hearts**

**Chapter 4**

Hermione was so happy when the weekend came around again because she didn't have to deal with Snape in class. She dressed in a simple tan sweater and a pair of denim muggle jeans. She stared at her reflection in the mirror for a few minutes, trying to decide what to do with her hair. She always wore it in a bun and now that she was becoming self-conscious about her looks. She wanted something that wouldn't make her look so plain. Lily came in and smiled at her. She knew what Hermione was trying to do.

"Here, let me try something," Lily said.

She was the one of the most beautiful girls in the school and Hermione wasn't about to argue with her. Lily pulled out some hair products from her makeup bag. She looked at each of the tiny vials and finally selected one. Lily put a few drops on her palms before massaging her scalp.

"You only need to apply a few drops and massage it into your scalp every three months and your hair will stay the way the potion describes. I have every style this company makes and they work great," she said happily.

"Are you using one now?" Hermione asked curiously.

"Yep. My hair, believe it or not is curly," she admitted.

"Really?" Hermione asked in surprise. Lily's hair was straight as a board.

"Yep. I'm not using the straightening Potion on you because I think you look better with a little more life to your hair," Lily said.

Hermione shrugged and let Lily do whatever she wanted. She figures that anything was better than what she had. Hermione just wanted to feel a little about herself. Strangely, she felt the urge to impress Snape.

Lily took a brush and ran it through her hair, smiling as the frizzy mess began to transform into elegant curls. Hermione gasped as she watched her hair change before her eyes. It now hung in lovely loose curls reminding her of how Luna's hair usually was. She'd always been envious of the Ravenclaw girl's beautiful locks. Now, she didn't have to be.

"Wow," she whispered.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Lily said happily.

"Yes," Hermione replied breathlessly.

"Now, we need to fix your clothes to match your hair."

"What's wrong with my clothes?" Hermione asked.

"Nothing really except they're almost two sizes bigger than you. You have a reality nice figure and you should use it to your advantage," she said suggestively. Hermione felt her cheeks burning as Lily led her back to the room and told her to undress.

"Um…"

"Don't worry, we're both girls."

Hermione nodded and removed her clothes, standing only in her knickers and bra. Hermione felt her blush run to her chest as well as her face.

"Take those off, too," Lily said as she rummaged through Hermione's drawers.

"WHAT?"

"Hermione, don't worry so much! You have nothing to be ashamed of," Lily told her calmly.

It took a moment for Hermione to gather her wits and remove her bra and knickers. Now she was truly embarrassed. She had never let anyone see her naked, not even Ginny had seen her so undressed.

"Ok," Lily said and began whispering some incantations as she pointed the wand between Hermione's legs.

"What are you doing?" Hermione looked down to see her usually wild bush of hair was trimmed and sleek looking.

"It's actually more comfortable this way," Lily assured her. "Now, I know you like wearing plain knickers but you should try the fancier ones."

Lily held up a pair of black lace knickers that Minerva had bought for her in the beginning of the year. Hermione usually chose the more plain sets to wear. Hermione decided to humor Lily and do as she was told. She took the knickers and slipped them on discovering that they had no back.

"Um…are those supposed to…go up there?" she asked, turning a darker shade of red.

"Yes, that is a thong and I take it that's a new thing for you," it was more a statement than a question.

Hermione only nodded as she put her bra on. She was surprised to find that her knickers were not that uncomfortable. They were probably charmed.

"Alright, your jeans need to be a bit lower," Lily said as she waved her wand and made slight changes. She also sized them down before moving onto Hermione's sweater and doing the same. Lily made the sweater more form fitting for her but didn't change the look of it since it was actually really pretty. Lily watched as Hermione put her clothes back on and stood before her. "You look awesome! Now, we can go."

Hermione nodded and grabbed her winter cloak before heading out with her friend. She began to feel very self-conscious when boys started looking her way. This kind of attention wasn't something she was used to. Hermione tried to keep herself from blushing but when she saw Snape, she couldn't help the slight blush that stained her cheeks. It didn't help that he openly stared at her and dropped the book he was holding. She pretended not to notice. Hermione was about to enter the Great Hall when Sirius came up and wrapped his arms around her.

"You look pretty," he whispered in her ear. She blushed an even deeper shade of red.

"Um…thanks, Sirius," she said uncomfortably and tried to get out of his embrace.

He wasn't about to let go however. Hermione glanced at Snape to see that he had picked up his book and was glaring at her. Sirius turned and also noticed Snape who was walking by to go to breakfast.

"Hey, Snivellus! Are you ever going to wash your nasty hair?" Sirius sneered.

"Leave him alone!" Hermione hissed and shoved Sirius away from her.

"Hermione, Snivellus is a low life piece of shit that doesn't deserve to live. Not even his own parents want him," Sirius said loudly. Several other students snickered, but Hermione didn't find anything he had said to be funny.

She saw Snape's eyes glitter with pure hatred as he gripped his ebony wand. Unfortunately, he didn't see James Potter rush up behind him. The Gryffindor slammed into Snape's back violently, sending the Slytherin to the floor.

Laughter filled the halls as Snape stumbled to his feet. James, however, wasn't going to let him off that easily. James grabbed Snape by the collar and shoved him against the wall before punching him squarely in the jaw. Blood began to trickle from the corner of his mouth but Snape didn't seem ready to give up. He violently pushed James away from him before letting loose a punch of his own.

Hermione watched in horror as Snape and James fell to the ground in a blur of fists and kicks. She felt Sirius let go of her and gasped when he attacked Snape from behind. She drew her wand to help Snape, but Lily shook her head.

"Don't get involved," she said. Hermione noticed the warning look and wondered why Lily wasn't doing anything about it. It was wrong. Hermione noticed Lupin was standing with Peter and watching the fight, but he made no more to stop it.

"This needs to stop!" Hermione yelled angrily.

"Stay out of this, Hermione!" Sirius yelled as he punched Snape again. Blood was now pouring from Snapes nose and mouth. James and Sirius certainly didn't look much better. Hermione ignored Sirius and Lily's warning and cast a shield charm between Snape and the two Gryffindors.

"Hermione!" James yelled but the look on her face could rival Snape.

"Two against one isn't fair! There was no reason to attack him in the first place!" she snapped angrily.

"It's Snape!" James argued.

"I don't give a shit who it is!" she all but screamed.

Snape got shakily to his feet and stalked off but not before glaring at her. Hermione glared at the boys before stalking off to follow Snape. She knew he wasn't going to be happy with her but she didn't care. For some reason she was concerned about him.

"Snape! I mean Severus!" she called as he turned the corner. She rounded the corner only to find herself faced with a very angry Snape.

"I told you before that I don't need some girl trying to stick up for me!" he shouted.

"I'm sorry if I didn't think it was fair for you to get jumped by two people for no reason!" she snapped. He shoved her angrily against the wall but wasn't able to do much more when he felt the tip of his wand under his chin. His glare was deadly.

Hermione quickly snatched his wand away before he hex her. His expression was vicious. Hermione raised her wand to his face and watched apprehension flicker in his eyes. She whispered a few healing charms and then 'scourgified' him.

"I never intended to hex you," she told him and handed him back his wand.

Severus snatched it away from her and stared at her. He was a little confused about to think. She was a Gryffindor but she had helped him. Then again, she was a girl and he should be able to take care of himself.

"I don't need you to help me! I can take care of myself. You should be worried about them," he hissed.

"It's you I…" she stopped herself.

"What were you saying, Granger?" he asked cornering her against the wall. He was honestly curious now.

"Nothing. I just wanted…to make sure you were alright," she said uncertainly.

"That's not what you were going to say and you know it," he said in a dangerously low voice.

"Why do you have to be so defensive?" she asked evasively.

Snape leaned closer to her and placed his hands on either side of her head. Hermione felt her breath catch when his lips brushed against her cheek and trailed to her ear. She felt a shiver run up her spine.

"Are you enjoying this, Granger? Do you enjoy playing savior to the joke of the school?" he whispered coldly.

Hermione thought her knees were going to give way so she braced herself by putting her hands on his shoulders.

"No, that's not what I was trying to do," she told him.

"Do you enjoy parading around in front of the boys like you do? Do you enjoy teasing me?" he sneered.

"Wha…what? What do you mean?" She was thoroughly confused. He looked at her with a condescending expression.

"Don't play stupid, Granger. Look at you strutting around teasing all the boys with what they cannot have. Did you like it when Black had his nasty hands on you?" he spat, not knowing why it bothered him so much.

"No, I didn't! And there's nothing wrong with how I'm dressed! I wanted to look pretty for a change!" she snapped.

"You didn't have to change your appearance for that," he scoffed.

"You're the one who said I wasn't pretty in the beginning of the year," she growled.

"Does my opinion matter to you?" he asked, raising a brow.

"Um…well…maybe…um…no," she stammered, not quite knowing what to say.

Severus moved one of his hands to her waist and leaned into her. He nuzzled his face into the crook of her neck eliciting a gasp from her.

"How many boys would you love to have touch you like this?" he crooned against her neck. She shivered and unconsciously gripped his shoulders.

"None. I'm not…like that," she said breathlessly.

Severus moved his hand down to her hip and waited for her reaction. To his surprise, she pressed herself against him and buried her face in the crook of his neck. He wasn't expecting that. His defenses automatically went up and he jerked away from her.

"No more games, Granger!" he snapped.

"I wasn't playing games," she said in confusion. Of course, she didn't know exactly what she was doing either. She had surprised herself by nuzzling his neck and allowing him to touch her. Hermione didn't know what to do so she fled. She couldn't bring herself to meet his gaze so she ran.

Severus watched her turn the corner in confusion. He didn't understand why she had reacted to him the way she had. His body was still on fire where he had touched her and he was worried that he was going to desire more. Shaking his head, he stalked off.


	6. Chapter 5

**_*Warning! Contains explicit content*_**

**Past Hands Hold Desperate Hearts**

**Chapter 5**

Hermione had enjoyed her Saturday with Lily, but was still upset with the Marauders and confused about Severus Snape. He wasn't supposed to make her feel this way. He was her future Potions Master.

It was Sunday night and she found she couldn't sleep. Hermione sat up and ran a hand through her hair in frustration. Lily was snoring softly as Hermione slipped her cloak on over her long silver night gown. She slid her feet into her matching slippers, grabbed her wand and headed out of the room. Truth be told, she didn't know what she wanted to do. She just wanted to get out of the room and think.

Hermione wondered what her friends were doing in her own time. She wondered if Ron was snogging Lavender senseless while she was away. The thought made her stomach lurch uncomfortably. She had thought that Ron was the one for her but she had seriously misjudged him. For the past month that she had been there she'd been telling herself that she and Ron were incompatible but she couldn't help but wonder if she couldn't get a boyfriend because she wasn't pretty.

Hermione sighed as she made her way down the stairs to the dark corridors. She walked slowly, deep in thought until she heard footsteps coming her way. Her heart jumped and she quickly ducked into the nearest room which just so happened to be the boys bathroom. She ran into a stall and stood on the toilet before casting a disillusionment charm on herself. She was afraid that it was Filch.

When she heard the door open she froze. Then she heard a familiar voice cast a locking charm on the door. Snape? What was he doing there? Hermione listened to him approach and felt her heart hammering in her chest as he entered the stall next to hers.

She was curious as to what he was doing and couldn't help but peak over the top of the stall. She watched as Snape unzipped his pants and pulled his semi-hard cock from its confines.

Hermione couldn't take her eyes away even though she knew she should. She thought he was going to urinate, but he didn't. To her surprise, he began to caress himself causing his cock to engorge. She was near breathless as he began to pump himself while his other arm braced his body weight against the wall.

_Oh my god! I can't believe I'm watching my Potions Master do this!_

Her body suddenly felt very warm. She swallowed as she watched Snape grip himself and pump his hand in long careful strokes. She bit her lower lip as she listened to his soft gasps and quiet moans.

_Sweet Merlin! He's so big. Is that normal? How the bloody hell would that fit in anyone? It's thick…god…I think he's turning me on. _

His breathing became short and ragged as his hand moved faster. His eyes were half closed and he was groaning softly. Hermione had to practically hold her breath to keep from making any noise. She watched in fascination as his hips involuntarily bucked. He was panting now and Hermione felt herself get wet. Severus threw his head back and closed his eyes in ecstasy. His hand was gripping tighter and moving faster.

Hermione watched in fascination as he cried out and ejaculated. She froze when she heard one name cry out from his lips as he spilled his seed.

"Hermione."

The shock of her name caused her to slip and fall. She heard him gasp and wasted no time running out of the stall to the door. She cast a quick unlocking spell and darted out into the corridors. Hermione didn't disillusion herself until she was hiding safely in the library. It took a few moments for her to catch her breath before she finally decided to look through some books. Hermione needed something to distract herself from thinking of what she had witnessed.

Unfortunately, nothing helped. She couldn't get the images out of her head. She didn't know what to do. Should she forget it? Or should she acknowledge that Snape felt something for her? She was so lost in thought that she didn't hear the library door open.

"Granger!"

Hermione jumped from her stool and fell to the floor with a yelp. The transfiguration book she was reading fell to the floor with a loud thud next to her. She looked up to see Snape glaring down at her with his wand pointed right at her face.

_Pretend you don't know! Pretend you don't know!_

"What the hell is wrong with you? Do you enjoy scaring the shit out of people?" she hissed. He opened his mouth to reply but she held up her hand. "You know what? Don't even bothering answering that." At that he glared.

"What are you doing out of bed, Granger?" he snarled.

"I could ask you the same," she retorted.

"I was just…using the restroom. I don't like the ones in the dorm. What's your excuse?" he sneered with a hint of hesitation.

"I was obviously reading until you decided it would be funny to see me wet myself!" she snapped. At least it wasn't a total lie.

Hermione realized that she was still on the floor and moved to get up when she saw Snape's hand in front of her face. Hesitating slightly, she reached out and took it. Her mind was racing with all kinds of thoughts.

_He was just masturbating with that hand!_

She stood up and fixed her cloak, accidentally exposing her low cut nightie. She heard him inhale sharply but pretended not to notice.

"Thanks," she said softly.

"Yeah well, don't get used to it," he sneered. She put her hands on her hips and glared at him.

"Are you ever nice? Ever?" she snapped.

"No. Kindness is weakness."

"Says who?"

"Me."

"You're impossible," she said, shaking her head.

Snape was about to say something when they heard the library door open again. He quickly grabbed her arm and dragged her to a dark aisle. Both of them were afraid that it was Filch but when they heard the two boys talking, they realized it was James Potter and Sirius Black.

"Oh great," Snape growled. Hermione glanced at him but didn't say anything. "Well, aren't you going to go out and greet your precious Gryffindor friends?" He sounded angry. Hermione ignored him and watched the two trouble makers through a gap in the books from the other aisle.

"Hey James, do you think lust potions would be in this section or the Restricted?" Sirius asked.

"Probably in the Restricted Section. Are you seriously thinking about giving her a lust potion?" James asked.

"How else am I going to get in her knickers? I've never had a problem with any girl but Hermione won't give it up."

Hermione tensed and felt Snape tense next to her. Anger coursed through her as she listened to the two boys who were supposed to be her friends.

"I don't know about this, Sirius. Why don't you just leave it be? I mean, it's not like she's that pretty," James said.

She felt hurt and betrayed. Hermione fought to keep the tears at bay but they silently trailed down her cheeks.

"I don't want to shag her because she's pretty. I want to because I've seen the way Snivellus looks at her," Sirius said. This time, she could feel the anger rolling off of Snape. "I just want to piss him off."

"It doesn't matter, Sirius. Hermione may not be very pretty, but I don't think she's that desperate," James laughed.

"Snape's probably not very gifted down there," Sirius joked.

_Oh yes he is! If only you knew what I know._

She could feel Snape shaking with fury next to her and wondered how much longer he was going to restrain himself from hexing the two.

"I'd just like to add Hermione to my list. At least then, I could say I got the know-it-all bookworm," Sirius said and that was the last straw.

Tears flowed freely down Hermione's cheeks but she was furious. Angrily, she whipped out her wand and with a vicious wave, she caused the book shelves to tip over and crash into each other. She heard the boys yell in surprise and knew that Filch would be showing up any second.

Quickly, she grabbed Snape by the sleeve and dashed out of the library. The two of them hid in a darkened corner as Filch went running by to the library. The two of them ran down the corridor once Filch was out sight. They ducked into an old storage room to catch their breath and that's when Snape noticed Hermione shaking.

"Are you crying?" he asked.

"No," she replied, but he could tell by her voice that she was.

"Lumos," he whispered and pointed the light at her.

She wiped her eyes and glared at him. She really wasn't in the mood for his insults.

"Go ahead and tease me, Snape! I'm sure you find this fucking hilarious!" she spat.

"Actually, I don't. I didn't think your own friends would say that about you, but then again it is Potter and Black. Besides, you weren't the only one they were talking about," he said with absolutely no emotion.

"Yeah well, at least in your case it's not true," she snapped. His eyes suddenly narrowed and he looked at her menacingly.

"How would you know?" he hissed.

"What?" Hermione found herself shoved against the wall and pinned with her wrists being held above her head.

"Were you spying on me earlier?" he seethed.

_Oh shit! Fuck! Think of something!_

"Spying on you? What…ow…are you talking about?" She decided that playing dumb was her best option.

"Were you the one in the bathroom?" he asked coldly.

"Bathroom? No! What the hell are you talking about? James basically called you ugly and I was disagreeing! What the hell does that have to do with the bathroom?" she asked, hoping that he couldn't see how nervous she was. She knew she could use what she knew as ammunition against him, but she didn't want to.

"Nothing. Never mind," he replied slowly. It was obvious that he was still skeptical about her reply, but he at least let it go for now.

Snape couldn't help but look down at her scarcely clad body since the cloak was open and revealing the silk nightie underneath. He seemed to appreciate what he saw. Hermione felt her face burn as his eyes traveled up and down her body and paused on her breasts. She could feel her nipples pushing against the thin fabric from the cold. He finally raised his eyes back to hers and let her go. She rubbed her wrists and looked away from his burning gaze.

"I can see why Black is so tempted," he said coldly.

"Black just wants another girl on his list so he can brag about how he shagged most of the girls in the school," she said icily.

"Well, he has shagged most of the girls here," Snape replied with his usual sarcastic tone.

"I will not be one of those girls," she hissed.

"We'll see. He usually wins them over in the end," Snape sneered.

"You think I want anything to do with him, especially after what he just said?" she asked in disbelief. Snape shrugged dismissively.

"I don't know. You might spread your legs eventually," he said and instantly received a slap to his face. Without warning, he violently pushed her back against the wall, knocking the wind out of her.

"Asshole!" she shrieked although a bit out of breath.

"I don't know what ever made you think you could get away with hitting me, but the next time it happens, you'll be sorry!" he said dangerously. Hermione was too angry to realize just what she was saying until it was said.

"I thought you'd be used to it since your parents enjoy beating you!"

Hermione and Snape froze, both staring at each other in shock. She couldn't believe that she had just said that to him. For once, she could see the true pain in his eyes. He quickly put on a mask of indifference and without looking back, he left the room. Hermione ran after him and grabbed his arm, but he violently jerked away and spun around to face her. He was furious but his eyes were glazed over and her heart filled with guilt.

"DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME, YOU WHORE!" he yelled.

"Severus, please-"

"Fuck you!"

"I'm so sorry! Please Severus!" she pleaded.

"I don't want anything to do with you!" he spat. "You think it's funny that you have perfect parents and mine beat the hell out of me?"

"No! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it!" she continued pleading.

"Stay away from me!" he snapped and stalked off.

_This must be what he meant when he told me I hurt him. How could I be so stupid? I can't believe I was that cruel…_


	7. Chapter 6

_***Warning! Explicit content***_

**Past Hands Hold Desperate Hearts**

**Chapter 6**

It was the beginning of December and Hermione was still unable to get close to Snape. When Slughorn had tried to pair the two together, Snape openly refused and told him that he wanted nothing to do with her. What was truly embarrassing was that he had said in front of the entire class.

Hermione made sure to keep away from Sirius and James. She didn't drink or eat anything they had access to. She told Lily about what she had heard and the girl flipped out. She had ended up hexing them both so that they would be unable to perform sexual acts for several weeks. Needless to say, the boys weren't happy that Hermione had found out it and told Lily. She was alienated from the Marauders except for Remus and on top of that, Snape wouldn't give her the time of day.

Hermione felt even worse now that the holiday break had arrived and almost every student was going home. She wasn't permitted to leave with any of her friends for safety reasons. It wasn't too bad until she found out that Snape was staying too. She was hoping she didn't have to worry about arguments and tension, but much to her chagrin she was not so lucky.

Hermione was staring out of the window in the library when she heard someone moving to her left. She looked up to see Snape, of all people, standing in one of the aisles looking at Charms books. She opened her mouth to say something but decided against it.

_What's the point? He isn't going to talk to me anyway and he hates me in my own time so nothing changed. _

Hermione sighed loudly and looked back out the window. She hadn't realized that she caught Snape's attention. Hermione watched the snow falling and thought about her parents and her friends. Her friends hadn't been born yet, but her parents were alive and well. She wondered if she could see them. Maybe it was better if she didn't. It would probably just hurt her more. Hermione rubbed her eyes in exhaustion. If only life were simple.

"What's the matter? Miss your friends?" Snape sneered nastily. Hermione didn't even bother looking at him. He was trying to bait her into an argument. "You're quite a pathetic sight, sitting there all by yourself but I forgot you have no parents to go home to."

Hermione blinked back the tears that threatened and continued to stare out the window. She tensed when she felt Snape come up behind her and bring his lips next to her ear. Despite his cruel words to her, she couldn't help the surge of heat that shot through her abdomen.

"You're alone on the holidays because no one wants to be around you. You're probably the reason your parents are dead," he whispered, almost seductively.

That had done it. Tears spilled down her cheeks, but she continued to look out the window with unseeing eyes. Her lips trembled and her vision was blurred, but she wouldn't let him run her out of the library.

Snape sneered and stalked away from her but stopped at the end of the aisle when she heard a quiet sob. He turned and saw her put her head in her arms and shake uncontrollably. Her soft sobs caused him to feel guiltier than he had ever felt before. He knew that what he had said was more hurtful than what she'd said to him.

Cursing softly to himself, he slowly walked back. His chest clenched painfully as he listened to her and he wished he'd never said anything.

"Granger," he called softly. She jumped at the unexpected voice and only spared him a glance. Then she turned and began hastily stuffing her things back into her bag. "Look, I'm sorry, alright? I shouldn't have been that cruel," he said. She gave a hollow laugh and shook her head.

"No, you didn't need to be that cruel, but you are. Just like you are in my time," she hissed angrily, unaware of what she was saying. She didn't notice the frown and look of confusion on Snape's face. "What's sad is that you're actually right about my parents. It is my fault they're dead." It was only when she turned to leave that she noticed his expression.

"You're not really from Beaubaxtons, are you?" he asked.

"What? Why the hell are you changing the subject?" she asked angrily.

"I'm not," he said, wishing now that he could take back what he said and wipe the tears from her eyes. However, she wiped her face aggressively with her sleeve, leaving her skin blotchy.

"Yes, you are! What the fuck does it matter where I came from?"

"You mean, _when?_ You're the one that said I'm just as cruel as I am in your time. What did you mean by that?" he asked.

"Wha…I…" she stammered and her eyes went wide. "I didn't mean it the way…it sounded."

"How the hell else did you mean it?"

"Um…I…what the hell does it matter?" she snapped, suddenly defensive.

"It matters cause now I want to know," he growled.

_Crap! I am such an idiot!_

"I'm tired and I said it by mistake. Besides, we're not supposed to be talking to each other," she said firmly.

"Oh yeah? Why aren't we supposed to talk to each other?" he sneered.

"Because I said something that you won't forgive me for and I'm the mudblood Gryffindor whore that killed her own parents, remember?"

Hermione turned and walked away, but just as she was about to go out the door she was stopped again. Snape was now blocking her from leaving.

"I did try to apologize. You're the one who wouldn't accept it," he said coldly.

"It doesn't matter. You obviously don't like me so apologizing would be pointless anyway," she said and tried to get around him. Snape however, was not deterred so easily. He blocked her again and stared her down.

"Well, what if I want to change all that?" he asked.

"Change it to what?" she asked with a frown. This time he looked away and down at the floor uncertainly. His cheeks colored and he took a few steps back from her.

"Um…I…nothing. Nevermind," he stammered and walked away from her hastily.

Hermione stood there dumbfounded before slowly walking after him. He was sitting at one of the tables with his head in his hands.

"Hey," she called, startling him slightly.

"What?" he asked, without turning around.

"Look, I'm sorry. Why don't we just stop fighting?"

"Fine."

"Do you want to be friends?" she asked with a faint glimmer of hope.

"No, it's not a good idea," he replied coldly.

_What the bloody hell! Make up your fucking mind!_

"Alright fine! I give up! I accept your apology and I'll leave you alone," she said tiredly and left. She didn't see him bury his face in his hands again.

Hermione avoided Snape for the next two days but the thought of her parents being alive in this time kept running through her thoughts. She walked to Minerva's office and knocked. When she was told to come in, she was surprised to see Snape there.

"Hello dear, what can I do for you?" she asked.

"Um…I wanted to ask you something in private, but I can come back later," she said, avoiding Snape's penetrating gaze.

"Oh no, Mr. Snape and I were just finished," Minerva replied.

Snape stood up and looked at Hermione as he walked out. His expression was somewhat indifferent but there was something in his eyes that she couldn't read and it bothered her. She waited until the door shut before she looked at her Aunt.

"I wanted to ask you if you'd permit me to leave the grounds," she said.

"You want to visit Miss Evans?"

"Um…no…actually, I want to see my parents," Hermione said softly. There was a look of sympathy on the woman's face.

"Hermione, you realize that you won't be able to interact with them and if you do, you cannot tell them anything," she said gently.

"I know. I just…I just want to see them alive one more time," she whispered, blinking back the tears.

"Of course. Let me get my cloak and we'll go. It will be nice to get out of the castle for a while."

Of course, no one realized that Snape had stood outside the office and heard everything. He was clenching his fists angrily.

_She lied! Her parents are alive? But what the hell did she mean about seeing them alive one more time?_

Hermione and Minerva left the castle, unaware of the pair of black eyes that watched them and apparated from the gates. Hermione knew that her parents had started dating a year ago and had moved in with each other by now. She knew they lived in the house she grew up in but wasn't sure if the house had been extended yet.

The two women walked down the neighborhood street. Hermione realized that a lot had changed between this time and her own. The neighborhood was not near as big as it was in her time. Many of the houses were still under construction.

"Are you sure you're alright with this, Hermione?" Minerva asked in concern.

"Yeah. I've been thinking about it for a while and trying to decide whether or not I wanted to see them alive one last time."

Minerva gave the young girl a sympathetic look. It was sad that someone so young had to lose her parents. Minerva promised herself that she would remember this house and get acquainted with the Grangers so that when Hermione went back to her own time, she would have someone. However, Minerva knew that once this Hermione left, everything she knew had to be kept secret until Hermione was back in her own time with Minerva's older self. It would be difficult but she knew it had to be done.

Hermione walked uncertainly through the snow, ignoring her chilled face. She looked around almost desperately until her eyes landed on a woman with bushy hair tied back into a ponytail.

"Mum…"

Minerva heard Hermione's small gasp and looked at the young woman who would someday be Hermione's mother. The woman was currently unloading groceries from the car when one of the bags tore and the contents spilled. Cans rolled down the icy driveway and stopped at Hermione's feet. Shakily, Hermione bent down and picked them up. She walked over to her future mother and handed them to her.

"Oh, thank you so much, dear," she said kindly.

"You're welcome," Hermione replied softly. Hermione was about to leave when she saw her future father step out of the house.

"I finished the Christmas lights, dear!" he called as he walked over. "Well, hello." Hermione gave him a smile, trying to look cheerful, but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

"The shopping bag broke and she was helping get the groceries," he mother said happily.

"Oh well, thank you. Would you two like to come in for some tea?" he asked.

Before Hermione could answer, Minerva agreed and the two walked into the house with the future Grangers. They sat down at the dining table as Mr. Granger began preparing tea.

"I'm Jean Landen and this is Philip Granger," Jean introduced.

"I'm Minerva McGonagall and this is my niece, Hermione," Minerva said smoothly.

"Hermione? What a lovely name!" Jean exclaimed causing Hermione to blush.

"Thank you."

"So, are the two of you dating?" Minerva asked politely, taking the tea cup from Philip.

"Yes, we are. Jean and I met a few years ago but we didn't start dating until a last year. I knew she was the one the moment I laid eyes on her," Philip replied, his expression filled with nothing but love as he gazed at his future wife.

Hermione had to blink back the tears and control her emotions. It was just so hard seeing them so fill of life now, knowing that they had died a year ago in her own time.

"So, what do you do for a living?" Jean asked.

"I actually care for children. I suppose some people consider me a nanny of sorts," Minerva replied.

"How lovely! We love children. I want to have a girl someday so I can dress her up and play with her hair," Jean said cheerily.

Hermione smiled as she remembered that her mother held true to that. She was always being dressed up and always having her hair played with. It was a memory that nearly caused Hermione to break down.

"I'm sure you'll make a wonderful mother," Hermione said softly.

"Thank you. Are you still attending school?" Jean asked.

"I'm actually getting home-schooled by my Aunt," Hermione said, motioning to Minerva. She hated lying to her parents but she had no choice in this situation.

"What do you parents do?" Philip asked, sitting down with them.

"Um…my parents…passed away," she said replied with only the slightest waver. "But they were both dentists."

"I'm so sorry to hear that," Philip said.

"Yes, that must be difficult," Jean said sympathetically.

"It is, but it was some time ago," Hermione replied, blinking back the tears.

"We're also dentists," Philip said, changing the subject.

"That's a very nice Profession to have," Minerva cut in, eying Hermione.

"Yes, I love it. I actually work on children, but Philip deals with adults," Jean said.

They talked a little while longer before Minerva told them they had to be going. Hermione made sure she took in every detail of her parents face and engraved every smile to her memory.

"Well, it was pleasant having you two over. Perhaps, we could have tea again sometime?" Jean said hopefully.

"That would be great. I'll send a card with my address to you," Minerva said.

"That would be lovely. Well, it was nice to meet you both," Jean said and being the kind of person she was, she hugged both Minerva and Hermione. Philip did the same and walked them to the door.

"Goodbye," Jean and Philip said in union.

"Goodbye and thank you for the tea," Minerva said.

"Bye," Hermione said softly, smiling at them.

"Bye, Hermione. I hope to see you again," Jean said.

"You will," she replied with a smile despite the sadness in her eyes.

_You just won't know it. I love you mum and dad._

"Thank you for _everything_," the Gryffindor said.

"Oh, you're welcome dear," Philip said.

They of course, didn't know that she meant 'thank you' for everything they had given her throughout her life. They were wonderful parents and didn't deserve to die. As soon as Minerva and Hermione were out of sight, they apparated to the castle where Hermione finally broke down. Minerva held the young girl close and walked slowly back up to the castle as Hermione sobbed.

"It's alright, Hermione," Minerva said soothingly.

"It's just…hard. I'm glad I got to see them…but it's still hard," she sobbed, sniffing slightly.

"I know it is, but you have to remember the good times you had with them," Minerva said. Hermione nodded and wiped her eyes.

"I know."

"It's almost time for dinner. I'm sure Mr. Snape is wondering where you are. I've seen how he looks at you," Minerva said with a smile.


	8. Chapter 7

**WARNING! EXPLICIT CONTENT!**

**Past Hands Hold Desperate Hearts**

**Chapter 7**

Hermione had been too shocked by Minerva's comment to reply, but when she saw Snape sitting at the table, her face went crimson. The images of him stroking his thick cock flitted through her mind.

_If Aunt Minerva is noticing the way he looks at me then he must not be trying to hide it. Either that or he's no good at hiding it…yet…_

The only place to sit at the Head Table was next to Snape. She sat down and glanced at him to see that he laid his arm protectively around his food as he stuffed his mouth. He ate like he was never going to be fed again.

"Why are you staring at me?" he hissed suddenly. Hermione was snapped out of her thoughts by his cold voice.

"Oh…um…I wasn't," she stammered. He turned to look at her fully now.

"Yes, you were," he said coldly. Hermione looked at him, wide eyed.

"Um…sorry then," she said and looked away. There was a coldness in his eyes that was frightening.

_What the bloody hell did I do now? He can't be mad cause I was watching him eat for only a few seconds…actually…this is Snape. He gets mad about everything._

Hermione ate her food slowly, thinking about her visit to her parent's house. Part of her wished she could tell them the truth. She wished she could warn them, but there were strict rules about messing with time.

_Why can't I? It wouldn't change much…_

"Yes, Aunt Minerva?"

"I know what you're thinking about. Just remember that what happens is meant to happen. You can't change it and even if you could, you know you shouldn't," Minerva said softly.

"I know…"

"It will hurt, but changing what is meant to happen can be harmful," Minerva said gently.

Hermione nodded, knowing that she was right. One good thing that came of that night was that her father had fought back and injured one of the Death Eaters. The man's wand had been left behind accidentally when they tried to make haste and leave and that wand was used to identify the Death Eater. It had turned out that the man was Ministry official. He was submitted to questioning with Veritiserum and had given away Voldemort's location. That was where the final battle took place and the Dark Lord was finally defeated. The death of her parents played a significant role in the downfall of the Dark Lord. It had ultimately saved the wizarding world.

Hermione sighed and picked at her food. Selfishly, she wished she could have her parents back despite the fact that the Dark Lord would probably still be at large. She knew it was wrong of her to want such a thing, but it was her parents. No one acknowledged that their deaths saved the wizarding world, except McGonagall and Dumbledore. She paid a heavy price for her magic and sometimes it was more than she could bear. Hermione was so lost in thought that she hadn't realized all the teachers had finished and left the hall. To her surprise, Snape was still there, leaning back in his chair and watching her.

"I was wondering how long you were going to be lost in your little daydream," he sneered.

She didn't bother saying anything to him. She simply turned around and sipped her drink. Hermione looked around the empty hall, thinking about her earlier years as a student. She was young and yet she felt aged. She had seen far too much in her young life. When she was told that she was a witch, she had been thrilled. Now, when she looked on what she lost, she wasn't so sure. Hermione had never imagined that she would see so much death before she was even considered an adult.

"Ignoring me, are you?" Snape snarled, once again snapping Hermione out of her thoughts.

"What? No…"

"I'm curious about something. You told me that your parents were dead. How is it you went with Professor McGonagall to see them today if that were true?" he asked, noticing how pale she got.

"How…what…you! You sneaky little bastard!" Hermione's eyes narrowed. "You were listening in on my conversation!" she snapped angrily, but Snape looked completely unfazed. He merely regarded her coldly.

"So what if I was? It still doesn't explain why you lied to me," he said in a dangerously low voice.

"I didn't lie…" she said, but stopped before she said too much.

"Yes, you did. You told me they were killed yet you went to go see them today," he said coldly.

"Did it ever occur to you that I might have meant I was going to their grave sight?" she snapped.

"That might have been believable if you hadn't told McGonagall that you wanted to see you parents alive one last time," he said. Hermione knew she couldn't really argue her way out of that one without telling him the truth.

"You wouldn't understand," she replied, getting up.

"Try me," he countered.

"How about…NO! It's none of your business," she snapped and walked out of the Great Hall.

"What are you going to do? Cry in your room?" he goaded.

"Why are you following me?" she growled.

"I'm not. I'm simply headed the same direction," he sneered although he knew it was a lie.

"Bullshit! You just want to fight with me! That's all you ever want to do!" she yelled whirling around to face him only to find that they were mere inches apart.

"Is it?" he asked with a nasty smirk.

"Why don't you go away? Go jerk off or something!" she spat. The smirk immediately left his face and suddenly he looked furious. She actually felt frightened.

"Why did you say that?" he hissed menacingly. Hermione could have slapped herself.

"Because…my friends told me once that normal boys did that all the time," she lied and started to walk away. "Be normal and do what they do." Hermione didn't get very far because Snape violently shoved her, causing her to fall to the floor.

"You're lying!" he yelled, his black eyes blazing.

"What? What the hell is wrong with you?" she asked shakily.

"I think you know more about my private life than you're letting on!" he spat, standing over her.

"I do not!" she growled and angrily swung her leg around and tripped him. She almost cringed when she heard him land on the floor with a thud.

Quickly, she jumped to her feet and ran down the corridor. She heard footsteps rapidly following her and glanced back to see a murderous Severus Snape running after her. Hermione gasped and began to run faster, hoping that she passed one of her Professors on the way but the halls were empty except for her and Snape. For the first time, she was actually afraid of him. She couldn't help but think about the things that Lily had told her.

Hermione's legs were hurting as she rounded the corner but she didn't stop. All she wanted to do was go to her room but she wasn't anywhere near it. Hermione was about to turn another corner when she felt Snape grab her. They both slammed against the wall and Hermione tried to free herself but Snape wasn't letting go.

"You're a lying…stupid…little mudblood," he seethed as he dragged her into one of the storeroom closets.

"I am not, you arrogant swine!" she retorted and twisted in his arms so that she was facing him. The closet was dimly lit but she could see him well enough and his expression was frightening.

"That night I found you in the library. You weren't there as long as you had me believe, were you?" he asked coldly. Hermione was not about to tell him the truth. He was obviously very sensitive about his personal life.

"I don't know what you're talking about! I was there before you scared the life out of me!" she snapped. "Why do you care so much? Are you hiding something?" Hermione made sure that she sounded suspicious, hoping that it would throw him off. It seemed to have worked.

"I…no…I'm not hiding anything," he said slowly, eying her dangerously.

"Then what are you so angry about?" she asked. There was silence and then his eyes narrowed.

"I think you're lying still," he hissed. "I think you were the one in the bathroom when I was there."

"Whatever," she said dismissively, but Snape was very good at reading people most of the time and when he saw the subtle swallow and heard the slightest waver in her breath, he felt his blood boiling.

"It was you!" he yelled.

"No! I don't know wha-" Hermione was cut off when the wind got knocked out of her. Snape had slammed her against the wall violently and currently had her arms pinned above her head.

"You're a fucking liar, Granger!" he practically screamed. "Did you enjoy watching me? Did you tell all your fucking friends about it? Maybe they'll have something else to tease me about!"

Hermione knew she had been caught, but she wasn't going to tell him that. She was going to continue denying it for as long as possible.

"Please…you're hurting me," she pleaded tearfully.

"Not as much as you've hurt me!" Hermione suddenly remembered the incident between herself and Professor Snape. How had she hurt him?

"How? What have I done? I apologized for what I said to you about your parents," she said shakily.

Snape leaned closer to her and let go of her arms so he could rest his forearms against the wall on either side of her head. His black eyes were so intense and he hardly blinked as he gazed into hers.

"You humiliated me," he whispered, his breath tickling her face. "I know it was you in the bathroom. You're just afraid of what I will do and you should be." His voice was soft and seductive despite his threat.

"I…what…are you going to do?" she asked shakily.

"Humiliate you," he replied almost kindly. That scared her more than him yelling at her. She was about to think of the different ways he might humiliate her until she felt his hand slide down her chest. Hermione gasped and tried to jerk away, but he wedged his knee between her legs and held her still with his body weight.

"Disgusting, isn't it?" he asked.

"Wha-what?" she gasped, feeling his hand on her breast again.

"Me. My hands on your body," he whispered. She looked into his eyes.

"No. Not you," she replied.

"Then why don't you like me?" he asked softly as his hand slid down her waist causing her to swallow hard.

"I never…said I didn't," she breathed. Despite the fact that he was her future Potions Master and forcing himself on her, she found his touch to be quite arousing.

"I know you don't. I'm not handsome like Potter or Black. I'm not popular. No one here likes me so you wouldn't be any different," he purred in a soft velvety tone.

"I'm not like…*gasp*…that…like…*gasp*…them." Hermione hadn't realized that he had undone her pants and slid them down her thighs until she felt the cool air touch her moist sex.

"Really? What makes you so different from them?" he asked as he slid his hand between her legs. She gasped in shock and ecstasy.

_No! This is my future Potions Master! Oh…but that…feels…so good…_

"My, my, Granger. You're wet. Could it be that you're actually enjoying the greasy git Slytherin's hand on you? Or are you just a whore looking for the next lay?" he purred and ran his finger up, barely parting her labia. She was panting now. Hermione could feel his arousal against her inner thigh. It made her think about him masturbating again. The memory, along with his touch, sent a pool of warmth down to her abdomen.

Snape was a nervous wreck inside, knowing that she could have him expelled for this but he wanted to touch her so bad. He moved so that his cheek was almost against hers but it was actually to hide his vulnerable expression. He didn't want her to see how unsure of himself he was.

Hermione rested her head on his shoulder as his fingers grazed the soft folds of her sex. His caress was soft and gentle but after a moment the tip of his finger brushed the inside of her labia. Suddenly, she felt like someone had shocked her when his fingers touched the little nub of pleasure within her folds. She jumped and gasped in shock, her eyes widening.

"Do you know what that is?" he whispered, trying to remember everything he had read about the female body.

"No," she gasped. For all the knowledge she possessed, sex wasn't one of the subjects she studied. She'd never even touched herself because she had never felt the need to. Snape however, was touching her quite intimately and igniting a fire she had never felt before. His fingers were making small circles on the little nub sending her body into a frenzy. She involuntarily shuddered against him.

"This is the most sensitive part of your body…feels good doesn't it?" he purred.

Hermione gripped his shoulders as she felt her legs shaking uncontrollably. She moaned loudly and felt her hips buck involuntarily on his hand. She suddenly wished he would thrust one of his long slender digits inside of her.

"You like this, don't you?" he asked huskily.

"Oh…yes," she groaned and decided to throw caution to the wind. Reaching down, she grabbed his hand and moved it lower so that his finger was poised at her tiny opening. Before he could react, she forced his hand upwards and caused his finger to thrust inside her.

He gasped in surprise and tried to look at her face but her face was buried in the crook of his neck. Her breathing was ragged and he was panting, both uncertain. Severus swallowed as he savored the feeling of her slick heat around his finger, her hips moving slowly. Carefully, he began to thrust his finger in and out of her while using the pad of his thumb to rub her swollen little nub. He couldn't believe that she was allowing him to do this.

Hermione was panting as she felt her body building up with such intense pleasure that she thought she might explode. Without thinking she brought her hand down and cupped his erection, eliciting a sharp hiss out of him. She couldn't help but let her hand explore the length of him, surprised at how thick and full he felt. It made her wonder what it would be like to feel him inside her.

Just as she was sure he was going to pull away, she felt her body spasm as she climaxed and coated his fingers and hand with her juices. She cried out, her hips bucking against his thrusting fingers and she involuntarily gripped Snape's cock harder causing him to lose control and ejaculate in his trousers.

"Oh fuck!" he cried out as he came with her.

He withdrew his hand from her warmth and fell flush against her, hiding his face. Snape brought his arm around her shoulders and stuck his fingers in his mouth, sucking her juices from them almost desperately. Severus was branded now, wanting nothing but her. Temptation to slide down her body and plunge his tongue into her delicate folds became almost unbearable. Once he had licked his fingers clean, he slowly began to come back to reality.

Hermione's face was still buried against his neck but she was wide eyed with shock as she realized what she had just done. This was her future Potions Master and she had just allowed him to finger her.

_OH MY GOD! He's going to remember this in my time! He's always known because it had already happened for him!_

Her cheeks were scarlet red and she was suddenly afraid of what _Professor _Snape would say to her. Once she returned, he would know that she now knew.

"Disgusted now?" he asked tonelessly, wondering what she would say.

Hermione couldn't find the words to reply and he took her silence as a 'yes'. His eyes narrowed dangerously and he jerked away from her, using his wand to scourgify himself before stalking out of the storeroom. Hermione quickly pulled her pants up and ran out after him.

_Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! I should never have touched her! I could be expelled!_

"Wait!" she called despite her embarrassment. He didn't stop though. She caught up to him and grabbed his arm, forcing him to look at her. Much to Hermione's surprise, his eyes were glazed over with tears but his expression was deadly. "I'm not disgusted with you or what we did. I was just surprised." She could feel her cheeks burning with embarrassment, but she had to tell him.

"You sure look ashamed," he spat.

"Well…no one…has ever…you know…touched me like that. I don't know how I'm supposed to act," she said uncertainly, looking at the floor.

"There's more to it than that, isn't there?" he sneered, seeing something else. He could tell she was holding something back.

"I can't tell you. You wouldn't…you wouldn't understand," she said softly, looking back up at him.

"Of course not," he spat and walked away leaving Hermione alone in the hallway feeling hurt and humiliated just as he said he would.


	9. Chapter 8

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: I am very sorry that it took so long to update but my computer crashed and I had to replace the hardrive unfortunately so it has been a long process of recovering files and finding my backup disks with my fanfics on them. I will try to update as often as I can, but chapter might come one a week or once every two weeks depending on my schedule.  
**

**Past Hands Hold Desperate Hearts**

**Chapter 8**

Hermione was an emotional mess when she returned to her room. She was confused, shocked, scared, angry, and embarrassed by what had happened. She knew that she should be angry with him for starting this, but she was actually angry at herself for not being able to control herself despite the fact that she knew the consequences. Snape didn't know what was to come. To him, she was just another seventh year, not a future student.

"God! He knows in my time! I never understood why he looked at me so oddly," she said to herself as she got ready to shower. "I'll never be able to face him again! What am I going to do?"

Hermione couldn't get the dark-haired Slytherin off her mind no matter what she did. She just experienced her first orgasm with her future Potions Professor and although she felt ashamed of her own lack of control, she couldn't deny that she liked it or that she wanted more. She cursed herself for thinking this way, but she couldn't deny that the thought of him kissing her and thrusting into her was something she wanted.

"I would never have imagined Professor Snape as a sexual person. Then again, he is human…and male," she told herself as she began to rinse in the warm water. "I wonder if I'm the first person he's done that with. It sure seemed like he knew what he was doing." At this point, she knew she was just babbling to herself but it was nice to talk out loud. For some reason it made her feel better.

"Well…he obviously fancies me in some way if he masturbates to thoughts of me and is so keen on touching me in the storeroom…but…what if he's using me…like Sirius wants to?" Hermione pushed the thought aside and washed her body and hair, rinsed off and then got out. She couldn't help but feel a little lonely after her encounter with Snape. If she were honest with herself, she'd admit that she actually wished he was here right now.

"I wonder if I could get him here…" she said softly. "Maybe I could tell him it's for a project. I'm not stupid enough to threaten him to come up…hmmm…" Hermione paced her room nervously, wondering if she should invite him up. Swallowing the nervous lump in her throat, she pulled out a piece of parchment and wrote to him.

_Severus,_

_ I didn't mean for you to take my reaction for shame. I wish I could tell you everything you want to know, but Dumbledore forbid it. I'd like to be your friend so this is my last attempt. Come to my room tonight if you want. The password is 'study'…for now._

_Hermione Granger_

"It sounds lame but oh well," she said after rereading it. Hermione went to the window and summoned an owl to her. With a slightly shaky hand, she tied the letter to the owl's leg. "Wait for a reply." The owl hooted his understanding and Hermione reached and grabbed him a cracker. "Here. I don't think you'll be getting a treat from Snape so here's one now," she said before he took off into the night while eating his cracker.

Now the letter was off and her stomach churned uncomfortably. She didn't know how he would react or if he would even come, but if he did she needed to make herself presentable. Hermione looked down at herself and saw that she hadn't even put any clothes on. The only thing that covered her was a short towel.

"Shit!" The young Gryffindor went to her closet and sifted through her clothes, but her real nice outfits were either too formal or in the laundry. Cursing, she went to her drawers to see if she had anything decent. She pulled out some of her nightgowns and frowned.

"No, I don't think so. He's seen enough of me already," she mumbled. Hermione slipped into her black lace knicker and bra set and then looked through another drawer. Pulling out a pair of cream colored silk pajama pants with intricate black filigree designs from the hem to knee, she quickly decided that this was what she was going to wear. It was sexy, yet not completely intimate. Quickly grabbing the matching long sleeved top, she dressed herself before casting a drying charm on her hair and tied it into a loose ponytail. She looked herself over in the mirror and frowned at her exposed cleavage.

"I hope he doesn't take this the wrong way."

Hermione was looking over her reflection critically when she heard a tapping on the window. She shrieked and jumped back in surprise before realizing it was only the small owl with her response from Snape. Her stomach fluttered viciously and her knees nearly gave way.

_Relax, Hermione. It's only Snape! I shouldn't even care what his answer is anyway. _

The problem was that she did care for some reason. Perhaps, it was because of the intimacy they had shared. She wasn't sure. Maybe it was because she was seeing the person that Professor Snape was before he joined the Death Eaters. Did he have any innocence left? If he did, he certainly didn't show much of it. Giving the owl another treat before it left, she then opened the letter with shaky hands.

_Granger,_

Well…that's not a nice way to start…

_I don't know why you insist on trying to be my friend. I was expecting a letter of expulsion from your precious Aunt._

Sarcastic little…

_When I did what I did earlier, I was not trying to start a relationship with you! What do you want from me? I don't trust anyone! Especially, Gryffindors like yourself. Just leave me the hell alone! Go find someone else to satisfy your needs!_

_Snape_

Hermione felt the tears burn her eyes as she closed the letter and slipped it into her drawer.

"Well I guess that answers my question."

She walked silently into the common room and sat down on the sofa, trying desperately not to cry. His words had stung more than she had expected. Sniffing softly, she sat down with a book on Ancient Runes and began to read, hoping that she could take her mind off of the boy.

"Granger!"

Hermione screamed, fell off the couch, dropped her book, and jumped right back up with her wand drawn and ready to attack. Snape held up his hands in surrender, eyes wide and eyebrows to his hairline.

"You're pretty quick with the wand," he commented.

"YOU ASSHOLE!" she yelled.

"I know. I've been told that I am one on several occasions," he replied smoothly.

"You scared the life out of me! What the hell is wrong with you?" she snapped angrily.

"You gave your password to a Slytherin. What did you expect?" he asked, sitting down on the other end of the sofa. Hermione took a moment to glare at him icily before sitting down again.

"I thought you said you weren't coming," she said with a huff.

"I never said that," he replied with a shrug.

"Well…you sounded like you did. You told me to leave you alone!" she growled. He shrugged again.

"I know. I wasn't about to tell you 'yes' in the letter. Just in case you wanted to show your little friends, I wanted to make sure I was covered. I don't need anyone thinking that I am trying to seduce the precious Gryffindor," he sneered. She stared at him in disbelief.

"You think I would do something like that to you?" she asked. "What the hell kind of person do you think I am?"

"I don't know. Even if you wouldn't, someone could find it."

"The only person that might find anything of mine is Lily and she wouldn't tell!" Hermione retorted in annoyance.

"I wouldn't be so sure. She's dating Potter after all. Besides, Potter could find it as well. Do you honestly think he hasn't been in this room with Evans?" he asked bitterly, his eyes cold.

"I…I don't know…I guess you're right," she stammered uncertainly.

"I'll remember this day," he blurted.

"Why?"

"Because a Gryffindor just said a Slytherin was right," he said with a smirk. Hermione have him a level look.

"Very funny," she said flatly. He just continued to give her his arrogant smirk, reminding her of her Potions Master. There was silence for a few minutes before anyone spoke.

"So, what do you want to talk about?" he asked.

"Um…I'm not really sure, actually," she admitted. "Why don't we just…try to get to know each other."

"Why?"

"Alright, forget it! If you're going to just make this difficult then there's no point to this!" she snapped. "I'm sick and tired of trying!"

"Alright, alright!" he conceded irritably. "Let's just ask each other questions then." It took a moment for Hermione to calm herself enough to the point where she no longer wanted to smack him.

"Ok…well then…um…"

"That's a nice start," he said sarcastically.

"Shut up! Alright, let's start with your full name," she said causing him to snort.

"It's Severus Zachery Snape."

"Zachery? Really?" she asked in surprise.

"Yeah, why?" he retorted defensively.

"I don't know. I just…would never have guessed that to be your middle name," she said with shrug.

"What's your full name?"

"Hermione Jean Granger." He nodded but didn't comment on it. There was another moment of silence before Hermione spoke. "When is your birthday?"

"January 9th," he replied.

"Yours?"

"It's September 18th."

"How old are you?"

"Well, I'm seventeen but because I've used a time-turner for a year, I'm actually eighteen."

"Hmmm…" he said distractedly.

"What?"

"Nothing. Anyway, I guess the next question would be, what is your favorite color?" he replied.

"Grey," she said causing him to raise a brow.

"Grey is your favorite color?" he asked in disbelief.

"Yes, why?"

"I was just surprised. I would think that pink or lavender would be more a girl's color," he said but noticed a pained look on her face all of a sudden. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing…"

"Don't lie. If we're supposed to be getting to know each other, then you might as well tell me the truth," he growled, his eyes reverting back to their usual coldness.

Hermione turned and looked into his obsidian eyes. One part of her was arguing that telling him her secrets could be used against her in the future. The other part of her wanted his trust and friendship. She decided that his friendship was more important than her future embarrassment.

"Lavender," she said softly.

"What?" he asked in confusion.

"I had this friend…back home…that I had a crush on…and I was going to tell him," she said, glancing at Snape who was surprising listening intently and burning her with such an intense gaze. She could swear that she saw jealousy in his eyes. "Well, right when I was about to tell him, he asked me to give a letter to this girl, Lavender Brown. He said…he said that she was pretty and…that they would make a good match. When I told him that being…with someone he was friends with…might be a better choice, he told me that he didn't have any female friends except for his sister and myself. He said I wouldn't make a good choice…" Hermione trailed off and looked at the flames in the fireplace, trying to keep the tears at bay. She had gotten over Ron for the most part, but the things he had said still hurt her deeply.

"Why wouldn't you make a good choice?" Snape asked.

"He said that I wasn't…a troll, but I wasn't very pretty…"

"What?"

"I wasn't pretty like she was. Lavender was a blond version of Lily. So bloody perfect…"

"That's not perfection," he said.

"I thought you used to like Lily?" Hermione said, risking his anger. His eyes narrowed briefly, but he did not yell at her.

"I did. She was my best friend and I thought she understood me so yes…I liked her. I didn't care how she looked. At the time I was looking for a friend," Severus said seriously.

"Well, at least you can see past appearances…unlike Ron," she sighed.

"This bloke is supposed to be your friend?" Snape asked with a brow raised.

"Yeah…he's just…insensitive," she said, causing him to snort. "I should have seen it coming. He's into everything I'm not. He's a jock like James while I'm a bookworm who likes intelligent conversations. That was another thing he hated. He said I always had my nose in a book," she said softly.

"You sure have a bad choice in friends," Snape said and Hermione glared at him.

"I'm trying to be your friend," she snapped.

"Exactly my point," he said.

"There's nothing wrong with you," she said crisply. He sighed loudly and looked at the ceiling.

"Someone like you shouldn't be friend with someone like me," he remarked, looking back into her honey colored eyes.

_God! She has beautiful eyes!_

"Why?" she challenged.

"Because you're kind and compassionate, you're smart and beautiful. Why waste it on a lost cause?" The question caught her off guard so much that she didn't register what else he had said at first.

_He believes he's a lost cause? This early in life?_

"You're not a lost cause," she said softly and then slowly the first sentence began to process. "I may be everything you said with the exception of beautiful, but that doesn't mean because you have a cold exterior that you are not the same as me inside."

"Why do you have so much faith in me?" he asked, shaking his head.

"I _know_ you're a good person at heart whose been wronged by many people," she answered sincerely.

"You don't know me at all," he replied coldly. "I'm not a nice person. I'm sure Lily has told you things about me if no one else has."

"I never said that you were _nice_. I said you're a good person," she pointed out.

"I suppose…"

"Look, you obviously have a strong hatred for Gryffindors and given the way you have been treated by Sirius and James, I can't say I blame you," she said. "I just…I just want you to give me a chance." There was silence as Snape absorbed all the things she had said. It was kind of new for him to have someone want to be his friend and actually make an effort at it.

"You're a strange girl," he said softly, his hard features softening. "You know…all the things…I said…to you…before…I…I lied."

"What things?"

"When I said you weren't pretty…I was lying. Obviously, since I just admitted a minute ago that you are beautiful despite the fact you don't believe me. I didn't want you to know the truth," he said nervously. Hermione looked at him and noticed the blush creep up his face. He looked open right now and so vulnerable. .

"It means a lot to me that you say that, but you don't have to try and make me feel better about my looks. After what my best friend said as well as Sirius and James, I am well aware of how I look," she said quietly. Severus turned on the sofa so he was facing her.

"Are you serious?"

"What?"

"Do you think I would tell you that if I didn't mean it?" he asked with a frown. Hermione felt her face burn and she looked away.

"I…I don't know…I mean…you liked Lily and she is gorgeous and then everyone else…seems to think I'm not pretty so I just thought…"

"You thought wrong," he said icily, causing her to jump slightly. "YOU are beautiful. You are more beautiful than Lily will ever be inside and out. As for your _friends_…they are the wrong people to take opinions from. They don't care about anything but the next time they're gonna get laid. They have a very fucked up idea of what beauty is."

"I didn't mean to doubt you…"

"They're idiots if they don't find you attractive. Besides, after all of that I'm sure you have self-esteem issues. I've had them all my life." Hermione was surprised at the blunt statement because the Snape that she knew never spoke of personal matters or how he felt about anything. It was difficult to believe that Snape ever had issues with himself for as cold and arrogant as he was in the future.

"That's another reason you shouldn't be seem with me," he said, reverting back to his usual indifferent tone.

"Why?"

"Because you're beautiful. You should be around people who are attractive. As much as it pains me to say this, you'd be better off around the Marauders," he said.

"Obviously not since I don't seem to fit in with them. Besides, looks mean little to me and if they did matter, then I have to say that Peter Pettigrew is part of the Marauders and he is so ugly that it's almost kind of cute in a twisted way. And quite honestly, if I had to choose between their friendship and yours, I would choose you," she said. The shock displayed on his face was enough to tell her that no one had ever chosen him over anyone else before. "You know, honestly, I find you to be quite attractive."

Hermione knew she was a deep shade of crimson, but he needed to know it. It was obvious to her that he had a very low self esteem.

"If that's true…" he trailed off and looked uncomfortable for a moment, "then…if I wanted to…court you…would you let me?" He wasn't able to look at her and Hermione noticed that his hands were shaking too.

_Oh God! He wants to court me! I didn't even know he liked me that much! What do I do?_

"I…I don't really know," she said uncertainly. She saw his jaw tighten and knew that she had struck a nerve.

"I should go," he said quickly and got up to leave.

"No! Wait! I didn't mean it tha-"

"How did you mean it? Is it because I'm Slytherin? You say I'm attractive but obviously not enough to make you want me! Or maybe it's because I'm a cruel person," he yelled angrily.

"No, it's…not that," she stammered.

"You expect me to believe that? You can't even bring yourself to say my name," he spat and turned to leave again.

"Severus?" He stopped at the sound of her hurt voice.

"What?" he snapped, not turning around.

"Don't leave…me," she whispered. He turned to look at her and felt a pang of guilt when he noticed she was on the verge of crying.

"Hermione…" he started, calling her by her first name rather than her last.

"Listen, it's…it's not that I don't like you…I do, actually. I like you…a lot. It's just…I'm not from here and I…I might be leaving at the end of the year… I…I don't want to hurt you. I haven't even told Lily these things. There's some things about me that I won't be able to tell you because…I was told not to tell anyone," she said, trying to hold back the sobs that wanted to escape her lips. She sniffed softly and looked down at her feet. She didn't realize how much she really liked him and wanted his companionship until now.

"Well…maybe…maybe you'd stay if I…treated you right," he said uncertainly.

"It's not my choice," she said, looking at him.

"You're an adult though," he argued.

"I know but…I can't explain without breaking my Aunt's trust as well as Dumbledore's. Look, I like you. I don't care that you are in Slytherin and you're only cruel when you want to be. I find you very attractive so please don't think that I meant what I said as a personal attack against you," she said.

"What if I didn't care that you _might_ possibly leave? Maybe I could go with you…" he tried.

"Severus, I wish I could tell you. You might just figure it out on your own, but where I might be going…I'll have to go alone," she said softly.

"Alright, fuck it! What if I don't care? What if I want one chance with you? What if I told you I was willing to deal with the consequences? How do you know that I might be willing to wait for you unless you let me?" he confessed.

Hermione was frozen in place, starring at him wide-eyed. He obviously hadn't realized just how much he admitted until now. His face turned scarlet and he looked at the floor in embarrassment.

"You…why…I…" Hermione stammered before taking a deep breath to compose herself. "You can't possibly think I'm worthy of such devotion. I'm not worth it, I…I have nothing to offer you. I'm a muggle-born…with no inheritance and no home…"

"Hermione, I don't care," he said and walked up to her slowly. "Money is not important to me. I could get us a home later. Besides, I think I should be the one who decides whose worthy to me. If anything, I'm not worthy of you."

Hermione felt him brush her tears away with the pads of his thumbs. She was torn between what she should and should not do.

"I…I don't want to hurt you," she whispered.

"If you like me enough to let me court you, you won't be hurting me," he said, starring into her eyes. His face was so close to hers that her little puffs of breath touched his lips.

_He's so stubborn. I know I'm going to hurt him, but I want to be with him. I don't know why I like him so much…but I want to be selfish…and have him…_

Hermione knew that she should tell him the truth, but she couldn't mess with time. She was already screwing things up even though this had already happened for him. She knew she should just push him away, but she couldn't. It was selfish and she knew it, but she wanted this. The truth was that Severus Snape was the only person that matched her.

Tentatively, she brought her mouth to his and gave a gentle kiss on his lips. He inhaled sharply, but instantly responded. He was slow and hesitant, but he went with instinct. His lips captured her lower lips and sucked gently, before he deepened the kiss. Cautiously, his tongue slid into her mouth and swept against hers.

Hermione felt Severus slowly bring his hands to her waist and carefully pull her closer. She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck as the kiss became more and more passionate. Neither one realized that they had slowly backed up to the sofa until it hit the back of her knees and they both collapsed onto the cushions. Severus propped himself up on his elbows and looked down at the witch beneath him.

"You're so beautiful," he said softly. She blushed and looked away but he turned her face back toward him. "You don't get many compliments, do you?"

"No…at least not on my looks," she replied quietly.

"I know how you feel. You're the first person I've ever kissed. You'll be the last too," he admitted.

"You might hate me in the future," she whispered.

"Why? Because you might have to go home at the end of the year? I'll wait for you. If you could bring yourself to love me…I'll never hate you," he said softly and kissed her lips again.

_You'll break that promise, Severus…_

Hermione knew that she was risking her happiness in the future. If she broke his heart in this time, she was sure Professor Snape in her time would hate her for it. Hermione thought that even though being separated from this Severus would be difficult, that she could handle seeing his future self. She could deal with him. After all, they were almost two completely different people, right? She didn't know how wrong she was…


	10. Chapter 9

**Adult content warning!**

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**,  
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**Past Hands Hold Desperate Hearts**

**Chapter 9**

Hermione and Severus had kissed for a long time before they both found sleep. He had fallen asleep on the sofa with her and stayed the night. That had been a little over a week ago. They avoided touched each other intimately since the first time they had in the closet though.

Hermione discovered that Severus was actually quite shy. She was also surprised to discover that he was very loving when they were alone. He was gentle with her, which was something else she hadn't expected. The more she got to know Severus, the more she believed that Professor Snape was a completely different person.

She was sitting on her sofa alone with a piece of parchment and a quill. Hermione wanted to write down the differences between the two and the similarities for her to refer to. She figured that the more differences between them, the easier it will be for her to deal with. She wrote their names at the top and drew a separation line down the middle.

"Ok, Professor Snape…snarky, cold, cruel, a tyrant, Death Eater…well formal Death Eater and a Professor," she said to herself, "he is also arrogant, biased, frightening and hates me."

Hermione sat back and reviewed what she had written. She knew that she couldn't just list the bad things about him because that would be unfair despite how badly he may have treated her.

"Well…he's also intelligent…he is handsome in a dark sort of way…he's in the Order and he is an excellent teacher…even if he is a bastard sometimes…he's tall…that's a plus…I like tall guys," she said. "He likes reading and Potions…that's another plus."

Once Hermione reviewed the list again, she frowned. A lot of the things that Professor Snape was in her time also described the Severus Snape she knew in this time. She wrote down things about _her_ Severus that she knew about and found that the only difference was Severus Snape, the student, was not yet a Death Eater, he was kind, loving, and sometimes fun to be around when he wanted to be.

_Well, the kind and loving part is what makes him appealing. Professor Snape has never shown love or kindness…well at least not to me…_

"But he couldn't…because even though this all happened for him…it didn't happen for me until recently," she mumbled to herself. "What if he is the same…just older and wiser…maybe…maybe he still likes me…no, no…he can't. He hates me. Doesn't he?"

Hermione found that she didn't know how her Professor felt. Was it possible? She found it hard to believe that her Professor would carry a torch for her that long. Then again, she didn't know the older version of Severus very well.

"Why am I stressing out? Severus just likes me…nothing more. I won't be around long enough for him to fall in love with me," she whispered and the thought stung her.

_I'm being selfish… I should just tell him. I wish I could. Dammit! What have I done? Am I hurting him more right now? Is that why he hates me?_

Hermione looked down at the parchment and reread everything again. At the bottom of the paper she wrote, 'maybe the Severus Snape in my time hates me because of what I am doing now. Is it possible he cared about me that much?'

Sighing loudly, she tucked the parchment into her 'Runes' book and set it aside. She was at a loss at what to do. She didn't want to hurt his future self nor did she want to hurt his younger version. It was almost a no win situation. Hermione was startled out of her musing when she heard her door open and looked up to see Severus walk in. He was wearing a pair of slightly faded black trousers and a simple green button down shirt with the cuffs buttoned as well.

"Hey," he said almost shyly.

"Hi, Severus," she said softly and smiled up at him. He sat down and sat back against the arm of the sofa.

"You look comfortable," he said, noticing the baggy sweat pants and fitted tank top.

"Yeah, I look like a bum," she conceded.

"You look lovely no matter what you wear," he said, a touch of color rising in his cheeks.

Hermione smiled at him and all of her previous concerns about his future self left her. She crawled over to him and kissed his lips gently. Hermione was practically on top of him as their kiss became passionate.

"Hermione…" he whispered against her mouth. "If I wanted…to touch you…again…would…you let me?"

Hermione broke the kiss and looked into his lust filled eyes. There was apprehension there as well, but his desire was far more evident. She couldn't help the warmth that spread through her at the thought of being touched again.

"Yes…how did you want…to touch me?" she asked, her cheeks flushing. She noticed that his face went a deeper shade of red than it had been a few moments ago.

"I…um…I wanted to kiss you…" he stammered.

"You are kissing me," she said with a smile and was confused as to why he looked distinctly uncomfortable now.

"I meant…somewhere else," he said.

"Where else?" Hermione was still confused about what he was requesting and it was beginning to irritate him. He glared at her, wondering if she was attempting to make a mockery of him.

"Are you serious?" he growled. The young Gryffindor sat back with her legs tucked under her.

"What? Where the hell else are you supposed to kiss someone besides their mouth and neck?" she asked irritably and after seeing the wide-eyed expression he was giving her, she was further irritated.

"Hermione, haven't you _ever_ discussed sex, foreplay, or any form of intimacy with anyone back home?" he asked.

"I…um…well…no, actually. I mean, my friend Ginny says a lot of things that insinuate sex I suppose but I never knew what they meant. I just pretended I did so I wouldn't look stupid," she replied, slightly embarrassed at her lack of knowledge in that area.

"Alright, let's start there…"

"How do you know so much? Did you lose your virginity since the last time we talked about it in the library," she asked, practically radiating jealousy.

"No, I didn't. I did what I thought you would have done by now. I read a book," he stated flatly. Hermione looked away in shame.

"Oh…sorry."

"It's alright. Now, tell me…what did your friend Ginny tell you?"

"Um…well…she had told me once that she and Harry were making out and she gave him a blowjob," she said with uncertainty.

"Do you know what that is?" he asked curiously.

"Um…no…I never asked. I hear the term a lot but I don't pay attention to things like that," she admitted softly.

"Bluntly, it means that she sucked his cock," he said and smirked when he saw her reddening face.

"Um…oh…I…I don't think…I'll ever look at them the same way again…if I ever see them again," she said.

_But my God, the way Severus says 'cock'…_

"Is there anything else she told you?" he asked.

"Well…she mentioned that she had sex…and I know what that is…um…she did say something about eating out…"

"That's what I was talking about. That's what I wanted to do with you," he said and saw her frown.

"Eat out?"

"You don't know what that is either, do you?" he asked warily.

"I always thought that it meant going out to eat," she replied. Much to her frustration, Severus burst out laughing. She didn't see what was so damn funny about the situation.

"I'm sorry, love," he said, calming down. "It's just…ok…eating out is another term for oral sex. It means your friend gotten eaten out by her boyfriend. It means I want to eat you out."

"Eat me out?" she asked, still a little confused.

_What the hell would he eat?_

"Yes, it basically means I want to lick and suck your pussy," he said, his dark eyes glittering lustfully despite the slight flush in his cheeks.

Hermione's face turned bright red again and she looked at him in horror. She instinctively put her hands over her sex protectively and tried to think of why anyone would do such a thing.

"You…you want to…put your mouth…down there? Are you crazy?" she hissed. He merely shrugged.

_I really hate when he does that…_

"Why not? That's a part of foreplay. I want to taste you," he replied, looking directly at her.

"But…I…that's gross!" she exclaimed, jumping off the sofa and pacing the room.

"I am going to have to loan you that book," he said in a matter of fact tone. She shot him a glare.

"What if you don't…like it? I'd die of embarrassment!" she shrieked.

"I know I will like it," he replied.

"How do you know? Have you done it before?"

"No…but after you creamed all over my hand last week…," she turned away in embarrassment, "I licked my fingers clean. I liked it quite a bit and I want more. Don't be embarrassed."

"I just…I never pictured you…to be…so…so…" she was at a loss for words.

"Sexual?"

"Yes."

"Well, I am a man. If I wasn't interested in these things, I'd think something was wrong with me," he said and got up from the sofa.

_Geez…I never thought he could be so dirty. I'll never be able to look at my Professor the same way again!_

"Right…"

"Are you going to let me or not?" he asked, prowling toward her.

"I…I…don't know…" she stammered, backing away. She knew she was clean since she had just showered this morning, but she was very uncertain.

"It doesn't hurt. You might find it very much to your liking," he purred seductively, taking her hand and leading her to the bedroom. He eyed Lily Evans bed with distaste before leading Hermione to her own.

"I've…never done…anything like this…before," she said uncomfortably.

"Oh, believe me, I can tell," he remarked and earned a glare from the brunette. Severus stood in front of her and watched her for a moment before becoming serious. "I won't force myself on you like I did before. I feel guilty enough about that. If you don't want to do this, then I won't push it."

Hermione was touched by his concern and respect. She had to admit that she was a nervous wreck, but her curiosity was getting the better of her. Just the thought of Severus doing something so deeply intimate was making her hot and wet for him.

"Well…I guess…if…you want to…" she said uncertainly, blushing.

"I do," he said silkily.

Severus carefully laid her on her back before hooking his fingers in her waist band and pulling the pants off of her. He hid his surprise at finding her without knickers as he reached up and lifted her top. She gave a little gasp when she felt the chill of the room touch her most private area. Her nipples became rock hard once they were exposed and she could feel the burning heat of his gaze.

"You have no idea how much I want you, Hermione," he breathed.

Before she could speak, his mouth claimed hers hungrily. Heat spread throughout her body as his hands roamed everywhere except the places that ached to be touched. She couldn't help but pull him closer and wrap her legs around him. He groaned into her mouth and she felt his arousal press hard against her sex.

"Be careful," he whispered.

"Why?"

"I wasn't intending to go all the way, but you're making it hard on me," he replied, trailing kisses down his neck.

"What if I wanted to?" she asked nervously.

"No. Not yet. It's not the right time for that," he said and kissed her chest. He clasped one of her nipples between his lips and sucked gently.

"Oh!" she gasped as he suckled the other one before moving down her flat stomach. She writhed under him, wanting whatever it was that he wanted to give her.

Severus kissed her slowly when he got to her navel. He planted a kiss on her hip before moving lower. She was panting as he sucked gently on her inner thigh, leaving a faint mark. She gasped as a wave of heat shot down between her legs.

Severus inhaled the sweet scent of her before he kissed her outer lips. He pushed her legs up and apart so he could see her clearly. The neatly trimmed patch of hair laid on the top of her mound rather than running all the way down. It gave him a crystal clear view of her and much easier access. His tongue snaked out and slipped into her small opening, startling her. Then, hungrily, he began to lap at her folds, making Hermione cry out and writhe beneath him. Severus didn't miss any part of her; even sweeping his tongue lower, past her sex to her other tight little opening.

"Oh God!" she cried out in shock and pleasure.

His mouth clasped down on her clit suddenly and he sucked gently, trying hard to focus on pleasing her despite his distracting and near painful erection. Severus thrust a finger inside of her and that was all it took.

"Severus!" she cried as he body exploded with an intense and earth shattering orgasm. She shook uncontrollably as he continued to lick all of her juices.

_I can't believe how good that felt!_

Hermione didn't have the strength to move for a few minutes. Severus used his wand to rinse his mouth before kissing her gently, slowing getting her to come back down from her high.

"Did you like that?" he asked with a slight blush.

"Yes, I did," she breathed. Hermione looked him over and then noticed the huge bulge in his pants. "What about you?"

Severus looked down and noticed what she was looking at and blushed deeply. He quickly rolled onto his stomach to hide himself from her which she was surprised about considering what he had just done to her.

"I'll be fine," he said in embarrassment. Hermione pulled her shirt down before propping herself on her elbow.

"Why don't you let me touch you?" she asked.

"Um…I wasn't…" he trailed off.

"You should not be so embarrassed. I showed you what I look like," she said with a smirk.

Severus seemed to debate with himself on what to do, before he finally rolled onto his side. He reached down and undid his pants while Hermione watched him lustfully. Severus had to swallow down his nerves before sliding his pants down letting Hermione see his thick member spring forward once out of the confines of his trousers.

"That's…um…big," she stammered, not believing that she was looking up close at him.

"I hope that's a good thing," he said with a smirk, relaxing a bit. He inhaled sharply when he felt her fingers brush it.

"It doesn't hurt when I touch it, does it?" she asked uncertainly.

"No," he gasped shakily as her fingers brushed the mushroom shaped head again before moving down the shaft.

"Wow, I didn't think the skin would be so soft," she said in surprise. She could hear the change in his breathing and stole a glance at him to see his eyes half-closed with lust. There was a light sheen of sweat on his face and his lips were parted.

"Put your hands around it," he said huskily. She did so and squeezed gently causing him to moan loudly. She wasn't exactly sure what to do despite watching Severus that time in the bathroom, but instinctively began to tug on it gently, eliciting another groan.

It was then that Hermione felt the strange urge to put it in her mouth. She glanced at Severus again to see his eyes were closed and he was struggling to keep control of himself. It was quite a nice feeling to see that she had some control over him.

_Well, he kissed me down there…I should be able to do the same. I just have to be careful with my teeth…_

Making her decision, Hermione slid down in one swift move and put her lips around the weeping mushroom head. Severus hissed and cried out, looking down at her in shock. It was difficult for Hermione to take more than half of him in her mouth but he didn't seem to care. He was groaning in pleasure regardless.

She could tell that he was struggling not to buck his hips, but as she brought him closer and closer to the edge, his body lost more control. Hermione swirled her tongue around the head, tasting the salty precum and was surprised that it didn't taste too bad at all.

"Harder!" he hissed and she obeyed. She sucked just a bit harder and slid her mouth up and down his shaft causing him to openly moan now. Hermione was surprised to find that he was very vocal and found it odd that his future self was so quiet.

She wrapped her hand around his shaft and sucked hard on the mushroom head while using her hand the same way she had done earlier. She could feel him trying to stop his hips from thrusting, but the closer he got the harder it became.

"Oh fuck! Hermione! I'm…I'm gonna…" he gasped and fully expected her to back away, but she didn't. She kept up her ministrations and Severus lost all control. His hips bucked wildly and he couldn't help but grab a fistful of her hair and hold her head still while he thrust into her mouth. "Hermione! Oh God! Hermione!" he cried out as he climaxed, shooting his seed into the warmth of her mouth.

Hermione had remembered what had happened in the bathroom and was prepared for him. She willingly swallowed his seed and carefully licked him clean. Severus was panting as he fell flat on his back and tried to compose himself. Hermione noticed his hands were shaking and she smiled to herself. Apparently she had done the job right. She took a moment to really look at Severus from his face, all the way to his worn dress shoes he wore. Her eyes wandered back to his semi-flaccid member and she gently ran her fingers through the mound of curly black hair that surrounded it.

Hermione combed through it carefully, making her way up to his abdomen and to his navel. The hair became thinner and thinner, the further she went up, but it was still a stark contrast of black against almost porcelain skin. She didn't realize that he had been watching her ever since she'd touched him until she looked up and met his obsidian eyes. She quickly withdrew her hand and blushed.

"Sorry." He gave her a sly smirk and lifted his hips so he could pull his trousers back up. "After what we just did, do you really think I'd mind if you touched my hair?" he asked, his eyes fill of amusement.

"No…I suppose not," she said softly.

"Are you…ok…with what we did?" he asked uncertainly.

"Yes. Did I do everything correct according to your book?" she asked with a smirk of her own.

"You did far better than any book would have taught," he laughed.

Hermione smiled and felt a warmth spread through her as he pulled her into his embrace. For once, she felt truly desired. It was a nice feeling to be wanted. She kissed his mouth gently, feeling a sense of joy and contentment at being with him.

"You have no idea how good it feels to have you accept me," he whispered.

"I feel the same about you," she replied sincerely.

"I'm glad. I never thought that I'd meet someone who would accept me. I'm not exactly the pick of the litter," he said.

"I don't think there is anything wrong with you. There are some times you can be really cold, but as far as your appearance goes…I think you're sexy," she admitted. A big grin spread across his face and it made her nearly melt beside him.

"I have to wonder about your eye sight," he joked.

"Mine? What about yours? I'm not exactly Miss Perfect," she laughed.

"Yes, you are. I thought you were beautiful the moment I saw," he said and Hermione felt her chest tighten at the sincerity in his eyes. "It's even better when I found out you were a know-it-all like me."

Hermione couldn't help but laugh at that. The way his future self called her a know-it-all sure didn't make her feel like it was a compliment or endearing in any way. It was sort of ironic when she really thought about it.

"Well, that's nice to know," she said.

"Can I ask you something?" he asked.

"Go ahead," she replied, kissing him softly again.

"When we fought in the library, you told me I was just as cruel to you now as I was in your time. What did you mean?" he asked, watching her carefully. She looked distinctly uncomfortable now.

"Severus, I didn't mean…"

"Yes, you did," he cut off firmly.

"I can't tell you anything," she said. He sighed and sat up with her, brushing her hair out of her face.

"You're from a different time period, aren't you?" Hermione looked at him sharply. "You are, aren't you?"

"I can't answer that," she said softly.

"Alright, I must be right though because you look like I hit it on the mark," he said honestly.

"It's alright, love. I shouldn't be asking. I just wanted to know if it was true so I could out if I become anything worthy," he said.

"Whether I know the truth or not, you are worthy and you'll be a very skilled and accomplished person. I don't need to have come from the future to know that. You have a far more brilliant mind than you may give yourself credit for," she told him. She knew he was trying to use Slytherin cunning to get her to inadvertently admit that she came from the future.

Severus gave her an appreciative smile before getting up. Hermione quickly pulled her pants up, having forgot that she didn't have them on. She walked with Severus out to her common room and sat down on the sofa with him. She felt him intertwine his fingers with hers as they both stared into the fire.

_How did this happen? How did this usually cold and callous person invoke such feelings within me? He's so different from anyone I have ever met. He's different from what I imagined him to be._

Hermione glanced at Severus to see he had dozed off. His head was resting on the back of her sofa and he was snoring softly. She smiled. He looked so peaceful she noticed. His face was young and smooth, much more different that he was in her time. He was much more gaunt as her Professor. He had age lines around his eyes and deep frown lines next to his mouth. If he smiled more often, they wouldn't be as bad. He was certainly more sour that he was now. Hermione had always noticed that he seemed to look at her a little more often than usual.

It was something she had always brushed off. She was sure that he hated her, all those years she was his student. Now, she wasn't so sure. Hermione looked back into the fire and suddenly felt a piece of her heart break.

_He is being so open to me right now even if he is a student. I don't think I want to go back. I could be so happy with him here. Maybe I could stay…_

She began to wonder if it would make a difference if she stayed. Her parents death happened while she was in her own time so Voldemort's downfall wouldn't be affected. Right? She frowned in thought. If she stayed in this time with Severus and they ended up getting married, that would change the future. He might not have become a Death Eater if she stayed. But these things already happened for him, so she must not have stayed. Was she really willing to risk the future for his love?

_Yes…I am. I just don't know if it's the right thing to do. He might not become a spy for the Order and Voldemort might not be defeated. And then there's Harry. Who would help him? __I was always by his side when he needed help. Would there be anyone to take my place?_

Hermione felt a lone tear slide down her cheek. She knew that she shouldn't try to stay in this time no matter how much she wanted to.

_I was wrong. I didn't think that leaving Severus and going back to my time would hurt so much. _

Hermione decided that she would just make the best out of the little time she had left. She knew she was going to hurt him as well as herself, but she couldn't possibly risk the future of the Wizarding world for her own selfishness.

_I'll give you something to remember at least, Severus. I'll show you what love is. I'm so sorry about what I will have to do later. But for now, I'll make the best of this. I'll give you my heart. _


	11. Chapter 10

**Past hands hold desperate hearts**

**Chapter 10**

Hermione and Severus rarely went anywhere without each other. They spent mealtimes with each other as well as personal time. The more Hermione stayed in his company, the more she wanted to stay in his time. She was surprised at just how well they get along now that they were in an intimate relationship.

It was three days before Christmas and Hermione smiled at the snow covered grounds as light mists of snow fell. She almost walked away from the window until she saw two people standing in the distance. Hermione frowned. There was no mistaking the raven-colored hair and the flawless stride. She couldn't tell who Severus was talking to, though.

With unease, she grabbed her cloak and wand and hurried out of the room. She wasn't sure what was bothering her so much, but she had a sense of dread, in regards to this other person. She walked down the corridors in the direction they would be coming in and pretended as though she were merely looking for Severus. When she heard his voice with the unknown one, she turned the corner to see Severus heading in her direction with a tall blond young man.

_Who is that?_

"Hermione," Severus said in surprise, smiling at her.

"I was just looking for you, Severus. If you want, I can wait in the Great Hall," she said, looking uncomfortably at the blond man who seemed to be looking her over.

"No, it's fine," Severus said and kissed her lips gently. "Actually, this is a friend of mine. Lucius Malfoy."

_MALFOY?_

"So you're the young lady who has captured my friends heart," Lucius drawled, his steely blue grey eyes looking her over more openly. Hermione didn't reply, but when he stepped forward she involuntarily stepped back. Severus noticed how uncomfortable she was and frowned. He could see her wand hand tighten around the finely crafted wood.

_Does she know him?_

"Sorry, Lucius. She's somewhat shy around other," Severus said, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her close.

"That's quite alright. I'm sure I can be intimidating," Lucius said dismissively.

_Arrogant bastard! You're the reason my parents are dead!_

Hermione held her tongue and fought down the urge to use the killing curse on him. She knew if she cast it, she would mean it. She could feel Severus grip her a tad tighter, obviously sensing her discomfort.

"So Hermione," Lucius said causing a cold chill to run down her spine when he said he name. "Severus has told me your name is Granger."

"Lucius," Severus said in a warning tone.

"What? I merely wanted to know why I've never heard of them in my dealings with the finer pureblood families," he replied.

"Because they're muggles," she cut in coldly.

"Muggles, you say? I'm rather surprised that Severus would date a mud-I mean, muggle born," he said knowing full well what he had intended to call her.

"Lucius," Severus growled with a warning. The arrogant man merely shrugged.

"I must be going," Lucius drawled, looking right at Severus. "Think about what I said. Don't wait too long to give an answer." With that, Lucius turned on his heel and strode out.

Severus turned and looked at his girlfriend searchingly. She was staring at Lucius's retreating back with a look of pure hatred and loathing. He could feel her angry rolling off of her in waves.

"Where do you know him from?" he asked, catching her attention.

"Nowhere. I just don't like him."

"You're lying," he said coldly.

"Does it matter?"

"He's my friend," Severus bit out.

"No, he's not. You'll find out eventually. I don't want to fight about this," she said firmly. Severus, however, wasn't going to let that slide.

"Tell me what you know about him," he demanded.

"Let it go, Severus," she retorted, facing him defiantly.

"NO! You can't just judge my friends like that and not give me a reason for it! You know nothing about him, Hermione!" he snapped angrily. Hermione felt her anger boil in her veins as the man she was falling in love with defended the person who took away her parents.

"I don't know her, huh? Tell me, was he here to see how you were doing? Or was he trying to persuade you to join the Death Eaters?" she asked icily. She saw his face drain of color and knew she had guessed right. "He was, wasn't he? Well, let me tell you something about your precious friend. He's using you because they need a Potions Master to brew all their dark potions for Voldement."

Severus sucked in a sharp breath when he heard the name and stared at her in disbelief. How did she know so much? He knew he had to be right about her coming from the future, but just how did she know so much?

"I'm not a Potions Master," he said lamely.

"But you will be! If you want to be around his sort then you can just stay the hell away from me! He's the reason I have no family left," she yelled and without another word, she stormed off.

Severus stood in the empty corridor staring in the direction Hermione had gone. He was beginning to doubt his friendship with Lucius now. Confusion clouded his mind and he swallowed the lump in his throat.

_She wouldn't lie about something like that. She must know these things as fact._

Severus suddenly took off after Hermione, running as fast as he could to catch up to her before she had a chance to change the password.

"Hermione!" he called when he saw her before the portrait to her rooms. She turned and glared at him.

"I don't want to talk to you right now," she said angrily.

"You haven't given me a fucking chance to decide for myself what I'm going to do," he said pushing his way inside.

"I already know what you're going to do," she snapped.

"No you don't! You can't judge me just because of what I may have done in your time!" he yelled.

"My ti-"

"Yes! Your fucking time! I'm not stupid, Hermione! I just don't know how far! What makes you think I can't change what I do in my future?" he spat. "Do you really think I want to join someone who would want to hurt you?"

"What do I have to do with it?" she snapped irritably.

"I LOVE YOU!" he roared, and then there was silence. Hermione was wide-eyed and rooted to her spot. Severus was just as surprised and obviously a bit embarrassed at his admission.

"You…you love me?" she asked, her voice strangled with emotion. He looked down at the ground with his hands in his pockets.

"I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it," he said softly.

Hermione felt her heart swell with emotion. Severus Snape had just admitted that he loved her. She wasn't sure if she should be ecstatic or terrified. She walked up to him and slipped her arms around his lean waist. He slowly brought his eyes up to meet hers and gaze unblinkingly at her.

"I guess I shouldn't be afraid to tell you, I love you too, since you said it first," she whispered shyly.

"Do you?" he asked skeptically.

"I do love you. I was afraid to tell you because…well, I thought I'd drive you away. I didn't know if you wanted to hear it," she admitted. His eyes softened and he pulled his hands from his pockets to wrap around her.

"Hermione, you could never drive me away by telling me that. I'd give anything to hear you say it to me every day," he said quietly.

"I'd give anything to stay with you for the rest of my life," she replied and felt her chest tighten.

_Did I really just tell him that? I never thought I'd say something like that, but I mean it. I would give anything to be with him, even if it means sacrificing my own future…_

Severus had never felt so overwhelmed with emotion as he did now. He felt as if his breath had literally been taken away. Had she really just confessed that she loved him enough to spend her life with him?

"Do you mean that?" he asked breathlessly.

"I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it," she replied softly, using his own words. She noticed him blink rapidly, obviously trying to stop the tears from falling. Hermione reached up and caressed his cheek, causing him to look at her again.

"You'd really want to be with me for the rest of your life? You'd consider a family with me?" he asked hoarsely.

"Yes."

"What about your friends? What about the people in your time?" he asked uncertainly, not wanting to get his hopes up.

"I don't care about what anyone else has to say. As for the people back home…I've spent my time there long enough. They don't need me anymore," she replied softly.

Hermione knew that she would miss her friends, but she wanted a chance to love. For once, she didn't want to concern herself with everyone else. She just wanted it to be her and Severus. She realized that she had found the love of her life and she wasn't willing to let him go.

"You would actually choose me over everything else?" he asked in disbelief.

"Yes," she whispered.

Severus suddenly pulled her flush again him and kissed her with all the passion he could muster. Her body reacted instantly to his touch and she found herself wanting more of him. Her hands slid up his back and up his shoulder blades before she brought them back down to rest on his bony hips.

"I want you," she whispered against his mouth. He looked at her lustfully, understanding exactly what she meant.

"Are you sure? He asked breathlessly.

"Yes. Please make love to me," she replied. He kissed her fiercely before heading to the bedroom.


	12. Chapter 11

**Past hands hold desperate hearts**

**Chapter 11**

Hermione undid the buttons to Severus's shirt and planted small wet kisses along his neck and collar bone. He was breathing heavily as her hands roamed his body and her lips sent a pleasurable shock to his groin with each kiss. Severus gasped when he felt her mouth over his nipple. He was unprepared for the wave of ecstasy he felt as she began to suck gently.

"Sweet Merlin, Hermione!" he hissed as she moved to his other nipple and gave it the same attention. Her hands fumbled with his trousers for a moment before she got them undone and slid them down his legs.

Severus kicked off his shoes and stepped out of his trousers before he removed his shirt. He was now completely naked with his erection standing proudly. He stopped Hermione from kissing him past his navel and quickly removed her clothes. He wanted her so bad; he could hardly keep control of himself.

Severus laid her back on the bed and crawled on top of her. His tongue wrestled hers as he lowered his body to rest flush against her. The heat that they felt once skin touched skin caused them both to gasp. He nipped her neck before sucking at the sensitive flesh. Every time they were together, he left a mark on her. She still had a rather large mark on her inner thigh where he normally left them.

She gasped as he practically licked his way to her chest and clasped her nipple between his lips. He was a bit rougher than she had been, but it was only adding to her pleasure if her constant groaning told him anything.

"Oh, Severus…go lower…please…go lower," she pleaded, needing to feel his mouth on her most sensitive spot. It had become a favorite for her ever since she had allowed him to do it. Severus did what she asked without hesitance and plunged his tongue into her wet heat.

"Yes…" she crooned and slipped her hand behind his head, urging him on. He greedily sucked her delicate folds while thrusting a finger inside her. She moaned and writhed under his talented mouth as her mind lost coherent thought. Severus hungrily licked at her little nub, lapping up her juices. Her hips bucked against his mouth as she came closer and closer to going over the edge.

"More…" she pleaded and came completely undone when he sucked her clit and plunged two fingers into her. He could feel her barrier give just a little, but it was still an extremely tight fit. Hermione suddenly howled as her orgasm sent her body into overdrive.

Severus could feel her juices from her climax coat his tongue and fingers and he eagerly licked her clean. He crawled back on top of her and went to wipe his mouth on the sheets, but Hermione pulled him down for a fierce kiss before he could. Severus couldn't remember ever being so aroused in his entire life as she hungrily kissed his mouth and tasted herself on his lips.

He was hovering over her for only a few minutes before he lowered himself against her. He moved his large mushroom head to her entrance and pushed slowly. She grunted when she felt him push against her barrier.

"This might hurt a bit," he said huskily. Hermione only nodded and grabbed onto his waist. She wasn't as afraid as she had been before, but she was too caught up in the moment to really care about the pain.

Suddenly, she was jolted from her thoughts when she felt Severus thrust into her, stretching her and taking her virtue. She gasped at the sudden sharp pain, but he remained still to allow her to adjust to his size.

"Are you alright?" he whispered.

"Yes," she replied breathlessly.

Severus had to hold still for a moment not only for her, but also for himself. She was so tight and warm around his engorged cock that he was struggling for control. After a minute or so, she urged him to move inside her causing them to both gasp at the sensation. It felt almost as though her walls were holding onto him. He felt a shiver run up his spine as he pulled out of her almost completely and then slid back in. His breath was raspy and uneven as he slowly pushed in and out of her.

"Hermione…you need to…be on top…before I lose control. I don't want to hurt you," he panted as he felt his self control waning.

Severus rolled onto his back, bringing Hermione with him without breaking contact. She sat astride him and felt his rigid cock bury deep within her. She couldn't believe how incredible it felt to have him inside her.

"You are so…beautiful," he gasped. His eyes traveled hungrily over her body as she sat impaled on him.

Hermione wasn't exactly sure what she was supposed to do and he must have picked up on it, because he grabbed her hips and slowly raised her up before sliding her back down. Her eyes went wide from the sensation and she found herself breathless. Looking down at Severus only added to her desire. His eyes were dark and intense as he gazed back up at her lustfully.

"Just ride me, baby…" he said softly.

Hermione slowly began to slide up and down his length, savoring ever sensation. The sting she felt earlier was gone and all that remained was the ultimate pleasure of being filled. Severus gripped her hips and helped her. Things had started slowly but Hermione increased her speed and her force as she slammed down on his cock. She felt a strange stirring in her abdomen and she couldn't bring herself to stop.

"Hermione…I won't be…able to hold out!" he groaned. The feeling in her lower region intensified suddenly.

"I can't stop! I'm so close!" she cried and thrust herself on him with more force. He hissed and began to meet her every thrust, lifting his hips off the bed to slam into her. His hands squeezed her breasts while his hips kept up with her. Sweat covered them both as they began to become frantic, trying to reach their climax together.

"Oh God, Severus! Don't stop! Don't stop!" she cried and felt him lose control. He thrust into her almost violently, bringing his hands back to her hips. He grunted with each thrust as she cried out in ecstasy. Severus looked between her legs and watched his cock slide in and out of her.

"Yes…" he hissed.

"Severus! Oh! I'm gonna cum!" she practically screamed. He quickly sat up with one arm behind him to brace the weight of his body. His other arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her body against his. Using his arm as leverage, he thrust into her wildly.

Hermione clamped down around him as her climax rocked through her body. He could feel her walls convulsing around him and the hot liquid of her climax against his public bone. Suddenly, he was overwhelmed with the intensity of their act, that he cried out loudly and shot his seed into her warmth.

"Oh god, Hermione," he groaned and wrapped both arms around her, holding her in his lap. His thrusts became slower as he milked himself inside her.

Both of them held each other close as they both came down from their climax. Severus kissed her lips gently and smiled at her. She gave him and exhausted smile in return and rested her head on his shoulder. He hugged her to him tightly, savoring every moment he had with her.

"I love you," he whispered. She lifted her head and looked at his face.

"I love you, too," she replied softly and gave him a tender kiss.

Once they had both showered, they laid in her bed with their fingers entwined, both drifting off to sleep. They took comfort in each other and each of them felt a warmth that neither had felt before.

Albus stood in his office, staring out the window. He stroked his beard thoughtfully as Minerva sat in front of his desk sipping her tea. She could tell that something was troubling him and she was sure she knew what it was.

"Albus, perhaps you should just relax," Minerva said.

"My dear, you don't understand. If she is interacting intimately with Mr. Snape, there could be serious repercussions," he said softly.

"I think it's rather nice that she and Mr. Snape are getting along so well. They both need love in their lives and quite honestly they are a perfect match. Besides, everything that happens now has already happened to the future, Potions Master," Minerva said.

"That's what I'm talking about," Albus sighed. Minerva frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"Miss Granger is a student, even in her own time, she called young Severus, Professor Snape. If he is a Professor twenty years her senior, then something happens that Miss Granger does go back. They are not in a relationship in her time, Minerva," he explained looking over his half mooned spectacles.

"Albus, I've heard them talking about their plans after Hogwarts. I think she's planning to stay. Quite honestly, I'd like her to," Minerva said.

"Don't you understand, my dear?" he asked patiently, getting a frown from her.

"She's already said that their relationship is student/teacher. That means that Severus experienced life without her. If Miss Granger stayed here, then once they reached her time she would have aged almost the same as Severus. She'd be twenty years older than she is now."

Minerva realized that what he saying made sense. What she didn't understand was how that happened. The two appeared to be in love and Hermione seemed to genuinely want to stay with him so how did they live life without each other if she was determined to stay?

"Albus, why does this concern so much?"

"Minerva, I've watched Severus Snape since he was eleven years old. That boy is more troubled than he lets on," he said.

"You're referring to his home life?"

"Partly. Severus has a need to prove himself. He wants to be praised and desired. I've noticed his keen interest in the Dark Arts. I've also seen him in the company of the Malfoy's."

"Malfoy? Lucius Malfoy? What does he have to do with it?" she asked.

"The Malfoy family is said to be in league with the Dark Lord. I believe he is influencing Mr. Snape," Albus said. Minerva gasped and began pacing the office.

"No. He wouldn't. Hermione wouldn't let him."

"No, she wouldn't. Not while she is here. However, when she does leave there might not be anyone to stop him," Albus said softly.

"Oh dear, what a mess!"

"Everything happens for a reason, Minerva. For once, I hope I'm wrong. If I'm not, then Mr. Snape will need to be watched and consoled. We will just have to see what the future brings," he said.

"Do you think Hermione would just leave him? I mean, from this point, the future isn't written? Right?" she asked.

"I'm not sure. Time is a very tricky thing. We could say that it isn't written yet, but apparently it is for Miss Granger. I don't pretend to know how time and time travel work," Albus said, sitting behind his desk. "However, I will leave the choice to her. I've already spoken to the Ministry and they are looking for a way to send her back."

"If she chooses to stay, do you think it would be a wise choice?" Minerva asked with a frown.

"That would depend on the person. If Miss Granger played a vital role in her time, then perhaps it would be unwise that she stay if it is possible the future can be changed. I am not only concerned about her changing her own future, but also the future of those around her," Albus said.

"What if it turned out better for those around her?"

"Perhaps that would make it worthwhile for the time being, but who's to say that it will be worth it in the future? We have no way of knowing. I do not want to know the significance of all our futures. Eventually, we will know," he said solemnly.

Minerva nodded and didn't say anything more on the subject. Albus was right after all. As much as Minerva hated the idea of Hermione going back, it was probably for the best, but it would be a hard task convincing her of that because it was quite plain to see, she was in love.


End file.
